Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Rape (NOT your average pity story)

Author: mojymo
Elite Ratio:    6.43 - 50 /59 /41
Words: 139
Class/Type: Poetry /Serious
Total Views: 1307
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1000


Rape (NOT your average pity story)

Being raped is just one more way of saying,
"I'm weak."
Why couldn't you defend yourself?!
I taught you how to stand tall
when you were just a child!
I taught you everything from sex
to algebra!
And THIS is the terror you come home with.
You've made my life this nightmare of paranoia.
I walk these streets at night
and face my fears,
palms sweating
and fingertips that slip on the metal handle
of my home.
You brought your blood and shame,
your "damaged goods,"
and your tears.
Why didn't you fight?!
Why didn't you TRY?!
Your answer is a broken sob
that shatters the rage I'm drenched in.
I pull your quivering flesh
into a painful embrace
and grasp your neck
and squeeze.
We will bring him down

End: 10:27 pm
Thursday, August 6, 2009

Submitted on 2009-08-06 21:29:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  This took balls. People always conform to the public opinion of such issues because they do not wish to be [censored]ized and forced to a chair to confess their every belief. Rape is an act of cowardice, and most victims of it respond with more of the same. There are many ways to exploit the cowardice in human nature, and this is just one of them. This took balls.

But watch yourself...I have a few feminist facists on this site in mind that would yank your sack off for this write....I would name names, but I don't want to be next.
(and i am in no way shape or form referring to anyone that has preceding comments to my own.)

Kudos to the balls.
But this was written in bad taste for your given audience.

| Posted on 2009-08-13 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
  Well, I have to say I thought this was pretty good, but then, never having been raped myself, perhaps I'm not the best person to listen to.

It didn't come across to me that the poem was saying it was the "fault" of the person who experienced this, but that blaming yourself for what occurred is probably the thought process the victim would go through.

As far as "not being able to take negative reviews" goes, I sometimes have said Mo's work is good, sometimes not so good and she has always taken my comments well.

I think even if a piece is really bad, comments should be constructive, as opposed to scathing, but I can't say much more as I don't know the full facts...

...Anyway, that's my shilling's worth...or something...

-The Boy Alex.

| Posted on 2009-08-10 00:00:00 | by alexboy | [ Reply to This ]
  NOTE TO READERS: This is a VICTIM we are dealing with, be sure that your comments are bland, don't involve what YOU think, and be NICE to her... tell her, It is WONDERFUL, or something she can suck on like a pacifier, cuz she doesn't do anything other than petting and ego-strokes...

Hopefully, it will help tape her soul back together.

ie, Mo's Reply to Recent Critique:

Who said anything about purity? I was talking about strength and rape. I'm sure you have the ability to read.

It doesn't matter if my poem inspired hatred of me within you. Since it made you feel something, it's good enough, and your judgement is worthless. *shrugs* Ya know?

Plus, I'm a very sexual person. I love the physical touch, but emotional connection is not my game. You have judged me on one poem. Big whoop.

Also, again, I was talking about strength and rape. I've been RAPED so that means that I'm NOT pure. Do you understand anything at all?

| Posted on 2009-08-09 00:00:00 | by grey_girl | [ Reply to This ]
  The Inner Split.... I see what you're doing, it's the mirror talking back. At the end, rage seals all damage up to a tightly rolled joint of Revenge.

My ex told me, it's not rape until you say No. He dealt with things from his childhood by becoming a boxer, very much enjoyed hurting and hurting others as a personal therapy. If he pulled out the gloves on you, oh baby... you were in for it! Otherwise, just a fuzzy schizo teddybear. Guess rage doesn't always seal you watertight.
| Posted on 2009-08-07 00:00:00 | by grey_girl | [ Reply to This ]
  now it could be that im reading this completely wrong and that im too full of PMS or rape experience to read it the way you intended it to be read but right now i think youre placing way too much emphasis on it being the fault of the person who was raped. i dont think your intention comes through very well

unless you are of the opinion that rape equates to weakness

the end hints revenge. hints that you care about this person and want to see the injustice put right but i dont know...

i cannot seperate myself from myself to see anything good in this piece. sorry
| Posted on 2009-08-07 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?