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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Endulged censesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dismentled
    ASL Info:    26/M/"South of Heaven"
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 625/583/217
    Words: 188
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Passion
    Total Views: 848
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1334



    Description:
       got music for it, think slipknot meets static-x


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsEndulged censesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I want it
    I Need it
    you got it;
    CANT HAVE IT!

    I want it
    I Need it
    you got it;
    CAN'T HAVE IT!

    I love this
    I hate this
    you breathe this;
    CAN'T TAKE THIS!

    I love this
    I hate this
    you breath this;
    CAN'T TAKE THIS!

    Jilted and hated
    growth from decay,
    pain and pleasure
    its ALL The Same!
    Wilted and weary
    demised from hope?
    Fuck these words
    and all that I wrote!

    I touch it
    I Taste it
    you feel it;
    GOD HELP ME!

    I touch it
    I Taste it
    you feel it;
    GOD HELP ME!

    I see it
    I Smell it
    you flaunt it;
    JUST TAKE ME!

    I see it
    I Smell it
    you flaunt it;
    JUST TAKE ME!

    Jilted and hated
    growth from decay,
    pain and pleasure
    its ALL The Same!
    Wilted and weary
    demised from hope?
    Fuck these words
    and all that I wrote!

    another tragic
    lofty curse
    you see, but don't
    hear my verse
    blind and stuttering
    my last breathe
    wasted on
    the dumb and deaf!






    Submitted on 2009-08-07 17:06:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I'm not a fan of the verses. Very very repetitive and nothing original in them. Very cliché.

    However, with that being said i felt complied to write this comment with a huge thumbs up for the chorus. As everyone else pointed out, that censored line is by far and a way a very powerful statement with what you wrote.
    Good job.
    I'd change the verses by building on it and not being so repetitive and you'll have the perfect song.
    | Posted on 2009-09-21 00:00:00 | by hybridsongwrite | [ Reply to This ]
      fucking awesome lyrics
    but honestly this feels SO incomplete without the music.
    maybe it's just because I heard the music first?
    idk. it just feels like it's only making a fraction of it's impact in this format,
    still. I like this song a lot,
    equal parts to music and words <3

    + of course,
    I love you ! <3
    | Posted on 2009-09-12 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      Jilted and hated
    growth from decay,
    pain and pleasure
    its ALL The Same!
    Wilted and weary
    demised from hope?
    [censored] these words
    and all that I wrote!


    HOLY ****

    "[censored] these words and all that I wrote" very powerful very moving your pissed in this write "duh" lol yet again another amazing write! Although I must admit the repeating got annoying but once I read the "[censored] these words and all that I wrote" it was worth it!!!

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2009-08-15 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
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    177214

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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