Endulged censes by dismentled

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dots

<< | >>

Submission Name: Endulged censes dots

--------------------------------------------------------

Author:	dismentled
ASL Info:	26/M/"South of Heaven"
Elite Ratio:	4.06 - 625/583/217
Words:	188

Class/Type:	Lyrics/Passion
Total Views:	1264
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1334

Description:
got music for it, think slipknot meets static-x

Endulged censes dots

-------------------------------------------

I want it
I Need it
you got it;
CANT HAVE IT!

I want it
I Need it
you got it;
CAN'T HAVE IT!

I love this
I hate this
you breathe this;
CAN'T TAKE THIS!

I love this
I hate this
you breath this;
CAN'T TAKE THIS!

Jilted and hated
growth from decay,
pain and pleasure
its ALL The Same!
Wilted and weary
demised from hope?
Fuck these words
and all that I wrote!

I touch it
I Taste it
you feel it;
GOD HELP ME!

I touch it
I Taste it
you feel it;
GOD HELP ME!

I see it
I Smell it
you flaunt it;
JUST TAKE ME!

I see it
I Smell it
you flaunt it;
JUST TAKE ME!

Jilted and hated
growth from decay,
pain and pleasure
its ALL The Same!
Wilted and weary
demised from hope?
Fuck these words
and all that I wrote!

another tragic
lofty curse
you see, but don't
hear my verse
blind and stuttering
my last breathe
wasted on
the dumb and deaf!

Submitted on 2009-08-07 17:06:53 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  I'm not a fan of the verses. Very very repetitive and nothing original in them. Very cliché.

However, with that being said i felt complied to write this comment with a huge thumbs up for the chorus. As everyone else pointed out, that censored line is by far and a way a very powerful statement with what you wrote.
Good job.
I'd change the verses by building on it and not being so repetitive and you'll have the perfect song.
| Posted on 2009-09-21 00:00:00 | by hybridsongwrite | [ Reply to This ]
  fucking awesome lyrics
but honestly this feels SO incomplete without the music.
maybe it's just because I heard the music first?
idk. it just feels like it's only making a fraction of it's impact in this format,
still. I like this song a lot,
equal parts to music and words <3

+ of course,
I love you ! <3
| Posted on 2009-09-12 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
  Jilted and hated
growth from decay,
pain and pleasure
its ALL The Same!
Wilted and weary
demised from hope?
[censored] these words
and all that I wrote!

HOLY ****

"[censored] these words and all that I wrote" very powerful very moving your pissed in this write "duh" lol yet again another amazing write! Although I must admit the repeating got annoying but once I read the "[censored] these words and all that I wrote" it was worth it!!!

Jackz
| Posted on 2009-08-15 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece? 7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?

177214

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Enter your search terms Submit search form

Web www.eliteskills.com

[ Quick Signup ]
[ Lost Password ]

January 10 07
131,497 Poems
Posted

I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

[ Angst Poetry ]
[ Cutters ]
[ Famous Poetry ]
[ Poetry Scams ]

FontSize:
[ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3 It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
It means a lot to them, as it does to you.