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    dots Submission Name: Whiskey Firedots

    Author: LadyInRed88
    ASL Info:    19/f/MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.68 - 131/180/32
    Words: 169
    Class/Type: Poetry/Depressed
    Total Views: 1081
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1071

       This one is about alcoholism- something that is a problem in just about every family.... something that some do to try and heal, but end up breaking so many more hearts than they could imagine.

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    dotsWhiskey Firedots

    The only love that's never left me empty,
    Left me here to die alone...
    And with Jack and Jimmy right here beside me,
    I'm well prepared to go...

    I'm twirling down to the bottom of my regrets again,
    They're lying at the bottom of my broken soul...
    So go on and let tears and whiskey fire burn me,
    For they're my heaven, my hell, my home....

    This whiskey fire is all that soothes me,
    It makes the rain fall down...
    but this burning in my chest can't hold me,
    So I still wish you were here right now...

    You still make it hard for me to breathe,
    I hear your voice and slowly drown...
    I miss your eyes and the warmth I can't even replace
    With these flames I'm drinking down...

    Leave me here to ache in pieces,
    I'm alone, I'm broken, I'm tired...
    And I swear that I can taste you,
    Somewhere in this bottle of whiskey fire...

    Submitted on 2004-07-19 00:38:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      SHAT! You know what I got outta this! I took the realization that I lead a blessed life of bachelorism. YES INDEED, I don't have to deal with lost love for I have no love at all. With the exception of my favorite thing in the world...EVERCLEAR! Hell yeah, and basically any alcohal in general. I read this poem only cause it says Whiskey on it. It was a good poem by the way I liked the sadness that you portray it really makes me want to drink. Thanks for doing that and stuff. I like you alot...your poetry I mean
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by JD_Heckle | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow. I have some family members and a friend whose parents are alcoholics. It's really hard for him and I wish I could take all the pain away from him that goes along with alcoholism. This really touched my heart. Thanks for writing it.
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      My father was...is...an alcoholic. its not talked about in my house. he left when i was five...it took 8 years for me to understand what in hell had happened...and then it was too late because i had gone lookin in the wrong places for a father and gotten myself molested...but oh well. I dont have the strength or support system to write about my dad so i dont. i am afraid. thanks for having the courage...for speaking my mind. <hugs> Much Love.
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by Printer Shock | [ Reply to This ]
      You've done some good things in this piece. It's a bit heart-breaking, to hear of someone spiralling downward deeper into to despair. Fourth stanza, third line, I think you should omit *even*
    Also, I realize that you have remained committed to your rhyme scheme throughout the piece, but in the last line, when I got to the word "bottle" it summed it all up for me. I was thinking maybe you could put of whisky fire in parentheses on a seperate line. It hits me harder when I leave those last three lines out. Very nice write.
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]

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