there was a time when being lost was easy. not so much now, not so much. there was a time as well when all seemed set in place. i was happy yet uncertain.
my mama turned fifty-three last thursday. it made me question mortality, absence, what life should hold, what i should hold inside to be that essence, and what it means to follow that river, catch that fish: survival, existence.
days spent like this would not be happy, but it's that road thrust upon us in some way which we choose to travel differently. for me, there's a certain sense of... disconnected appreciation in that, i think. for what it is that shapes us to find reason and belief. in some way. in some way amidst all this confusion and misery.
i want coffee. vanilla ice-cream.