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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Where's My Papaw?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Texan_Poet
    ASL Info:    20/F/daydreaming
    Elite Ratio:    5.7 - 127/123/48
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Story/Love
    Total Views: 641
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 922



    Description:
       Just... dont bash this one. My papaws funeral is today, and i poured my heart into this one. it may not be the best, but its for him. Carl Max Wilson, August 6, 2009. I love you so much Papaw, and I will never outgrow the memories and lessons you gave me.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhere's My Papaw?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Where's my Papaw?
    I can't seem find him,
    Have you seen him?
    Is he playing hide-and-seek?

    I didn't find him in the garden,
    Digging up potatos,
    Or shucking corn.
    Where could Papaw be?

    He wasn't in the living room,
    Taking a nap,
    or setting up the checkers board,
    Papaw, where are you?

    I looked out in the shed,
    But I didn't see him,
    I need to find my Papaw,
    Have you seen him?

    I found my papaw,
    He's in his bed, sleeping.
    He has been working hard
    For a long, long time.
    I guess he's really tired,
    But thats ok,
    'Cause he can see Granny now,
    And sing with the Angels,
    We all have to go home
    And rest sometime, right?
    Goodnight Papaw,
    See you when I get there too.




    Submitted on 2009-08-11 10:18:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is very touching, and a fine memorial poem to a loved father. I'm a Texas country boy, so the sentiments expressed here have a familiar ring to me.

    It must be just impossibly sad and tragic to loose your father. You have our greatest sympathy and concern. They are lost to us physically but never in spirit. You will feel your father watching over you always and he will never stop loving you in spirit.
    | Posted on 2009-10-24 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]
      Deepest regrets in regards to your grandfather; he's in my prayers.

    I won't bash this because it is an act of grief, but I honestly can't see much to bash. It's sort of childlike and I don't know if that's your intention or not, but due to its aura of innocence similar to the world view of a child, the poem is truly beautiful and cutting in a strange way.

    Secondly I truly think that adding his common activities made it more real through the visuality and yet more all-encompassing... if that made any sense at all.

    I'm not going to tell you he's in a better place or any of the cold recycled clichés that are given to those grieving for a deeply loved one, because I don't know what you believe or if that would comfort you. However, I do know that though you grieve, he watches you, in some way, and he will never truly leave you. His memory will always be with you, and hopefully the memories will be more sweet than bitter.

    Many condolences and much hope...

    Blessed be.

    Slainte,

    DW
    | Posted on 2009-08-11 00:00:00 | by Shadowstar13 | [ Reply to This ]
      First off, I wouldn't bash this because that would be disrespectful to your feelings and to the dead.

    Also, I wouldn't bash this because it is very good. Sweet, simple, innocent. Melancholy, but not overly sad. Also, you did one of the things I really like (and which I try to do whenever I write something sad): Even though it's a bit of a sad piece, you ended on a positive, hopeful note. That's a good technique, it helps to uplift the readers at the end.

    My deepest sympathies for the loss of your father. Hold on, let me try and write something for you:

    Corn-on-the-cob will always be a favourite of yours,
    a dish that touches the heart as well as the stomach.
    Slathered in butter and gentle whispers, with a sprinkling
    of salty tears to taste.

    Go out and view the vast cornfields, and know this:
    You are never alone. The world grows with you.
    The day he slipped away, your heart was shucked,
    peeled, and torn. But, please, dearest one, sow your seeds
    and cultivate Love and Hope. These are even sweeter
    than corn, and much more powerful a food source.

    Feed on them, and you will find comfort.
    -
    'Corn-on-the-Heart', written for Texan_Poet on Aug 11/2009.

    *hugs*

    Many sympathetic tears from the Astral Plains for you,
    ~Asia
    | Posted on 2009-08-11 00:00:00 | by AsiaticFox | [ Reply to This ]


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