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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: I Lost Myself While Loving Youdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: FadedSilence
    ASL Info:    21/nowhere
    Elite Ratio:    1.24 - 124/113/51
    Words: 239
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 812
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1373



    Description:
       i havent written in a long time and i felt inspired tonight due to recent occurrences in my life. so please dont be to harsh on your critiques


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsI Lost Myself While Loving Youdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I lost myself while loving you
    I changed my life and started new
    Changed my friends, the way i spoke
    the life i led disappeared in the smoke
    i fed the fire of my desires and temptation
    i gave in to happiness and your seduction
    your words flowed through my mind and heart
    not knowing, eventually, theyd tear me apart
    You built me a castle of plywood lies
    and i stood in the tower with naive eyes
    gave you everything a man could dream
    and you took it all without questioning
    finally when i had nothing left to give to you
    my tower tumbled and my life lay strewn
    across the bare naked floor confused and dazed
    i lay staring at the ceiling simply amazed
    how could you take everything from me
    i dont understand why you had to leave
    my heart is broken and im reminiscing
    i was so happy in the lie i was living
    how could it be if it wasnt real
    i cant explain how my heart feels
    when it found out my knight in shining armor
    threw up lies like it was cheap liquor
    and here i am still hoping youll change
    life without you just isnt the same
    since i cant go back to the life i had no matter how i try
    i just hope youll build me a castle with more durable lies







    Submitted on 2009-08-13 03:38:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is clearly a rather emotional poem and it is pretty well written. I too am sorry that you gave your love to someone who was apparently
    undeserving.
    I would suggest that you type all of your entries into Microsoft Word first though, so that you can make use of spellcheck, it does grammar too.

    I did like it though




    Will
    | Posted on 2009-08-13 00:00:00 | by Rhythmal | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm sorry that you gave your all to someone who took you for granted, that happen to me several months ago, but i moved on to better things, your poem shows alot hurt feelings and emotional breakdown , detailed very well , this poem is very special and I see you lost yourself due to the love of a cheat, well written

    Chris
    | Posted on 2009-08-13 00:00:00 | by JoJoCrab | [ Reply to This ]


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