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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Am I crazy?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: UnderlinedInRed
    ASL Info:    18/f/PA
    Elite Ratio:    4.24 - 196/262/123
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 496
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 511



    Description:
       I know its a bit rough around the edges, but you get the concept.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAm I crazy?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Am I insane?
    My mom wants me
    In therapy.

    But I feel just fine.

    Am I crazy?
    My dad keeps asking
    What I'm doing.

    But I feel just fine.

    Am I psycho?
    My sister keeps her eyes out
    Like I'm going to shout.

    But I feel just fine.

    Am I paranoid?
    That everyone thinks I am mad
    Is it that bad?

    Starting to not fine.
    Is it me, or them this time?




    Submitted on 2009-08-14 13:45:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I remember that face! I reviewed a poem of yours a while ago..."Ashes" I think it was called.

    I have to be honest, I was a bit disappointed in this. I felt it read more like a diary entry and the rhyme was forced.

    There's really nothing to it, other than that.

    I'm sorry to put it so bluntly, but there's not much more I can say.

    Try something more adventurous. Let's see some real emotion...imagery, metaphors... I'm sure they're in there somewhere!

    Alexboy

    P.S. I submitted my "Ode to Forced Rhyme" piece b4 I saw this, so don't think it's knocking you, it's not directed at anyone.
    | Posted on 2009-08-15 00:00:00 | by alexboy | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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