Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Am I crazy?dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: UnderlinedInRed
    ASL Info:    18/f/PA
    Elite Ratio:    4.24 - 196/262/123
    Words: 79
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 470
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 511



    Description:
       I know its a bit rough around the edges, but you get the concept.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAm I crazy?dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Am I insane?
    My mom wants me
    In therapy.

    But I feel just fine.

    Am I crazy?
    My dad keeps asking
    What I'm doing.

    But I feel just fine.

    Am I psycho?
    My sister keeps her eyes out
    Like I'm going to shout.

    But I feel just fine.

    Am I paranoid?
    That everyone thinks I am mad
    Is it that bad?

    Starting to not fine.
    Is it me, or them this time?




    Submitted on 2009-08-14 13:45:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I remember that face! I reviewed a poem of yours a while ago..."Ashes" I think it was called.

    I have to be honest, I was a bit disappointed in this. I felt it read more like a diary entry and the rhyme was forced.

    There's really nothing to it, other than that.

    I'm sorry to put it so bluntly, but there's not much more I can say.

    Try something more adventurous. Let's see some real emotion...imagery, metaphors... I'm sure they're in there somewhere!

    Alexboy

    P.S. I submitted my "Ode to Forced Rhyme" piece b4 I saw this, so don't think it's knocking you, it's not directed at anyone.
    | Posted on 2009-08-15 00:00:00 | by alexboy | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    177387

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    When Sirens Whisper written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    a leaf of shadow and edge written by Daniel Barlow
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry