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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Hidden in Plain sightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dismentled
    ASL Info:    26/M/"South of Heaven"
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 625/583/217
    Words: 167
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 1054
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1144



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHidden in Plain sightdots
    -------------------------------------------


    shes an angel
    in sheeps clothing
    wheres no mask
    but the pains not showing
    strickens herself
    but no sins eroding
    raises herself up
    beyond comprehending

    she is better
    she is stronger
    she is wiser
    she's in me!
    she is lovely
    vain as a dove
    and in spite of myself
    its me she loves!

    I give her a kiss
    and fall from exhistance
    I give her all of me
    without any hesitance
    I give her all I have
    though deserving more
    I give her all of me
    forever and once more!

    she is better
    she is wiser
    she is strong
    she's in me!
    she is so lovely
    vain as a dove
    and in spite of myself
    its me she loves!

    Another cry
    sounding like a whelp
    inside of her
    I burn and help

    She is mine
    she is me
    only better, wiser
    and lovelier to the touch
    I am her
    and hers forever
    only she's better
    and mine to touch!





    Submitted on 2009-08-14 14:28:46     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love this one too :)
    maybe I'm a little biased
    but this is too fucking beautiful<3
    you make me believe I am this amazing ^-^
    our love definitely is <3
    and this write is pretty kickass too!

    Love how it was unique for a love write but still got your point across crystal clearly.
    I loved all of it and the whole impact really was an altogether thing, hard to pick favorite spots but the last verse made me smile a little extra ;)

    faving this one too <3
    you're amazing angel,
    I'm so lucky to have you;
    always, forever and in whatever follows,
    no matter what!

    | Posted on 2009-09-12 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    177389

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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