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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Fine!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: dismentled
    ASL Info:    26/M/"South of Heaven"
    Elite Ratio:    4.06 - 625/583/217
    Words: 142
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angst
    Total Views: 782
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 994



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFine!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I wanna scream
    I wanna break
    I sit here calm
    trying to fake
    That I'm fine
    perhaps ok
    that my minds not
    plauged by moral decay

    i feel all hope disinigrate
    a tempting display
    of a more bitter fate
    in a time not wence knew
    I will never promise
    I don't love you!

    I feel it all penetrate
    whatever the fuck is "it"
    so sick and tired
    of all the same shit
    bite my tounge
    to prevent from screaming
    choke on the blood
    i think i pierced it

    so i sit and fake
    preteninding more
    like some fucking
    pimpless whore
    broke and broken
    from my undoing
    the sky is falling
    u chicken dumpling

    but hey
    it'll all b ok
    no one will know anyways
    that inside you
    screamed and breaked
    because you're not ok anyways!




    Submitted on 2009-08-14 17:23:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      I forgot how depressing this was :(
    sorry but I really don't care for this one.
    I can still rock the beautiful misery style,
    just....not liking this one.
    Lots of emotion,
    no holding back,
    nice wording,
    poetic enough...
    just not at all my favorite of yours.


    I love you though baby.
    | Posted on 2009-09-12 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      mm I do like this, very different your style but its a nice different! i love how each line is eating off one another and as the reader reads on you make this post grow and grow kudos to you my friend this is a great post straight from the heart.

    Jackz
    | Posted on 2009-08-15 00:00:00 | by jackz | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    10. What would you have done differently?
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    12. Does it feel original?



    177390

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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    January 10 07
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