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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: This feeling inside!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jjd
    ASL Info:    20/male/Griffin, Ga.
    Elite Ratio:    2.12 - 20/82/37
    Words: 76
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 1380
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 536



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThis feeling inside!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The feelings inside,
    Flying by.
    Heart riped apart,
    but sown back together.

    Who ever thought,
    it would be you.
    the one who makes me
    smile inside.

    But only one thought,
    that it wasn't true.
    But only I Knew
    it was true!

    All the sadness
    and hate inside,
    torn away!
    happyness and love
    back again!

    Just thinking
    of you make me glad.
    and now i hope we never
    END!




    Submitted on 2009-08-14 21:31:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The feelings inside,
    Flying by.
    Heart ripped apart,
    but sown back together.

    Who ever thought,
    it would be you.
    The one who makes me
    smile inside.

    But only one thought,
    that it wasn't true.
    But only I knew
    it was true!

    All the sadness
    and hate inside,
    torn away!
    Happiness and love
    back again!

    Just thinking
    of you makes me glad.
    And now I hope we never
    END!

    Edited version. Very few mistakes in your poem. A small and very entertaining poem I enjoyed it very much.

    Wondering if you could explain this paragraph anymore I was a little confused by it maybe my brain is just fried and I can't comprehend it like i normally do.

    But only one thought,
    that it wasn't true.
    But only I Knew
    it was true!

    I didnít understand as I said I might be brain fried or over thinking. Be careful were you break your poems apart it can change the importance of things in your poem. You seem to do it well just warning you. For only 15 I thought it was very good keep writing and feel free to check out my work as well.
    | Posted on 2010-03-22 00:00:00 | by cyberpoet | [ Reply to This ]
      small poem. Very entertaing.
    Keep upi the writing.

    totojane
    | Posted on 2009-08-24 00:00:00 | by totojane03 | [ Reply to This ]
      I really don't know what to write as opposed to your preference of commentary type which is NOTHING :p

    a few grammatical mistakes here and there but all in all a successful attempt at putting one's emotions to paper! :)
    | Posted on 2009-08-21 00:00:00 | by obaid | [ Reply to This ]


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    9. How could it be improved?
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