Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • ES Magazine
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • Video Tutorials
  • RolePlay
  • 90% off Amazon
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Nothing Moredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    21/F/Oh
    Elite Ratio:    4.19 - 406/313/187
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Fanfic/What you did
    Total Views: 55
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 825



    Description:
       Decided To My Mother


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNothing Moredots
    -------------------------------------------


    Take this pain you have brought upon me,
    take these restless... endless nights you have cursed me with.

    Knowing me due to the simple fact that you conceived me,
    knowing what I longed for you took this... and used me.

    A doll with strings I am to you,
    and a few fixes a night I am to him.

    Nothing more than a freak controlled by those I trusted.
    Nothing more than an unwanted, discarded, and used child.

    Do you hear my cries?
    Do you see my tears?
    Do you feel my pain?

    No!
    You never will...

    For you are not an unwanted,discarded, and used child.
    Yet I am.

    No more than a freak controlled by those I trusted.
    No more than an unwanted, discarded, and used child.




    Submitted on 2009-08-15 01:08:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Intense. I saw the fanfic listing..but these words feel genuine..or at least the feeling invoked. The repetition I think played a big part in that. I like the general anatomy of this piece as well.
    | Posted on 2009-08-15 00:00:00 | by harrieart | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    177396



    Full Anime Episodes Streaming Free
    5 million youtube videos all rated over 4.7 stars with 40+ ratings

    [ Copy this | Start New | Full Size ]

    Google
     

    [ Chrispian ] [ Write Forum ]
    [ Friends ] [ SNESroms ] .
    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry