Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Nothing Moredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jackz
    ASL Info:    24/F/OH
    Elite Ratio:    3.76 - 591/622/380
    Words: 134
    Class/Type: Fanfic/What you did
    Total Views: 511
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 825



    Description:
       Decided To My Mother


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNothing Moredots
    -------------------------------------------


    Take this pain you have brought upon me,
    take these restless... endless nights you have cursed me with.

    Knowing me due to the simple fact that you conceived me,
    knowing what I longed for you took this... and used me.

    A doll with strings I am to you,
    and a few fixes a night I am to him.

    Nothing more than a freak controlled by those I trusted.
    Nothing more than an unwanted, discarded, and used child.

    Do you hear my cries?
    Do you see my tears?
    Do you feel my pain?

    No!
    You never will...

    For you are not an unwanted,discarded, and used child.
    Yet I am.

    No more than a freak controlled by those I trusted.
    No more than an unwanted, discarded, and used child.




    Submitted on 2009-08-15 01:08:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Intense. I saw the fanfic listing..but these words feel genuine..or at least the feeling invoked. The repetition I think played a big part in that. I like the general anatomy of this piece as well.
    | Posted on 2009-08-15 00:00:00 | by harrieart | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    177396

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    To written by SavedDragon
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Giving written by jjd
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry