Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Budapestdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    30/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 137/243/158
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 893
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 549



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBudapestdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I gave my heart so easily away,
    Unspoiled, undone, unfinished.
    It smashed itself against my ribs
    To millions of bits that shone -
    A gory rainbow in a lifeless fountain.


    When shades, and suns are cached
    Behind malicious Turols, so bent upon revenge;
    Obstreperous in bloodstained marble,
    A deathly moan across the sallow lips.

    I breathed and heard it, and am poisoned -
    Over the dizzy waters of the Danube
    My shivering reluctance and regret.




    Submitted on 2009-08-15 04:42:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Intense is all i can say, this is a complex piece to me that requires some mulling over to get the dfull effect and meaning from it. Altogether what caught my attention was the word "obstreperous", what an interesting word indeed! Interesting use of words to paint these pictures, your poetry always has alot of layers to me like an onion so to speak, every time you peel a layer back more is revealed. Interesting read, thank you for sharing this.

    :-)

    -Svw
    | Posted on 2009-09-11 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
      very intense with some emotional feelings, each paragraph has importance, descriptive well, I can see image , well written

    Chris
    | Posted on 2009-08-19 00:00:00 | by JoJoCrab | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    177401

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    The Promise written by annie0888
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    This written by Chelebel
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    To Glow written by krs3332003
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    untitled written by Chelebel
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Push written by JanePlane
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry