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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Budapestdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: expiring_touch
    ASL Info:    26/f/Hamburg
    Elite Ratio:    4.03 - 136/243/156
    Words: 80
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 855
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 549



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBudapestdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I gave my heart so easily away,
    Unspoiled, undone, unfinished.
    It smashed itself against my ribs
    To millions of bits that shone -
    A gory rainbow in a lifeless fountain.


    When shades, and suns are cached
    Behind malicious Turols, so bent upon revenge;
    Obstreperous in bloodstained marble,
    A deathly moan across the sallow lips.

    I breathed and heard it, and am poisoned -
    Over the dizzy waters of the Danube
    My shivering reluctance and regret.




    Submitted on 2009-08-15 04:42:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Intense is all i can say, this is a complex piece to me that requires some mulling over to get the dfull effect and meaning from it. Altogether what caught my attention was the word "obstreperous", what an interesting word indeed! Interesting use of words to paint these pictures, your poetry always has alot of layers to me like an onion so to speak, every time you peel a layer back more is revealed. Interesting read, thank you for sharing this.

    :-)

    -Svw
    | Posted on 2009-09-11 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
      very intense with some emotional feelings, each paragraph has importance, descriptive well, I can see image , well written

    Chris
    | Posted on 2009-08-19 00:00:00 | by JoJoCrab | [ Reply to This ]


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