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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Seven Moredots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Ontlogicalamity
    ASL Info:    21/M/NY
    Elite Ratio:    4.55 - 160/183/38
    Words: 311
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 462
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2048



    Description:
       I wrote this a while ago, right after the Columbia was lost. The crew of that shuttle, therefore, is obviously the group of seven I'm writing about. All comments welcome. And if you think you can put it to music that would be awesome.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsSeven Moredots
    -------------------------------------------


    Seven more join the throng
    That mob the pearly gates
    Like every other soul they see,
    They know not yet their fates.

    With no less fear, nor shame, regret,
    They solemnly move forward,
    Neither pushing forward eagerly,
    Nor running from reward,

    Be it great or terrible.
    They seven are resolved
    To accept whatever crops
    They've sown while in the world,

    While those around them push and shove,
    Some toward and some away,
    Some who try avoiding wrath,
    Some who wished for judgement day.

    But as these seven make their ways,
    The ground begins to hush.
    They turn to see the newcomers,
    And halt their frenzied rush.

    They watch these seven silently march,
    In uniform raiment,
    With little flags and little ships,
    From whence they all were sent,

    Their heads held high and shoulders back,
    Their dignity intact.
    The masses stare forever on,
    Not knowing how to act.

    Then one fine gent of elder years
    Cries out across the field,
    "Make way! Make way, for Heroes come!
    Surely, we must yield!

    Whatever God has left for us
    And for these seven brave,
    We honor them as they deserve,
    While we still be men!"

    And all who hear the call step back,
    It travels like a wind,
    Until a path is fully cleared
    From these seven to the end.

    So the seven march on down the way,
    Unhindered by the rest,
    Their quiet nobility precedes,
    And deep respect shines back.

    As they pass, the spell holds fast,
    For only moments few,
    And when they pass on out of sight,
    The chaos does ensue.

    But seven more join the ranks
    Of heroes among men.
    They have our praise and our respect,
    No matter what God has for them.




    Submitted on 2004-07-19 12:59:42     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      i always put a subject in my comment box thingies but this piece has me speechless... i tell you i felt almost the same when i was listening to the NASA radio and i was hearing them go back and forth with the news about Columbia ... i stood right where i was and i cried... not to be completely off the sunject, that day i found out that there are exceptions to ALL rules... sometimes what goes up may never come down...

    this piece is wonderful in every way, it's amazing that a few words typed on a screen can bring forth so many emotions from so many people...

    - fifi
    | Posted on 2004-07-22 00:00:00 | by halopop | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a great tribute, I'm not so sure about how I would feel about it if you didn't have the description. But as it is now, I think we all like to hear about those who have died for us getting into heaven. I believe it, and this poem is very comforting. Cool, nice job.
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by emo-tastic | [ Reply to This ]
      of the years that I have known you I must say I think this is one of the most powerful things you have ever, said or written, it is an honest show of your emotion, a side nto easily shown I would say. one reccomendation I would make look over it and see if there any points in which you can remove useless words like "and"

    i.e. you wrote"And all who hear the call step back,
    It travels like a wind" I would change it to
    All who hear the call step back,
    It travels like wind

    I really like the piece though. take or leave the comment as you will. good work -john
    | Posted on 2004-07-19 00:00:00 | by Mithrandir | [ Reply to This ]



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