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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: More Than You Deservedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Kaygrl
    ASL Info:    19/female/Washington
    Elite Ratio:    2.31 - 153/196/213
    Words: 243
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 80
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1371



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMore Than You Deservedots
    -------------------------------------------


    That girl is more than you deserve,
    Her love for you is more than you deserve.
    The way she looks and sees you,
    And you don’t return her stare,
    It’s more than she can bear.
    The compassion in her eyes that covers up her hurt-
    Her betrayal.
    The way she holds herself,
    The changes she’d never make,
    She’d make for you.
    The things she’d never do,
    She’d do for you…
    If only to feel your touch,
    And hear that you love her again.
    The way that she carries herself in stubbornness,
    And won’t hear- not a word against you,
    It’s more than you deserve…
    Because you deserted her when she needed you the most.
    After all the tears you made her cry,
    All the words you made her hear,
    She’s still here for you.
    With her head held high,
    She holds onto herself,
    And clings to your memories when it was so good.
    Hiding her hurt and smiling to everyone but herself.
    But you always put on a good front,
    You always had her fooled,
    Yet she lingers in the past,
    Loving someone that isn’t even real,
    And clings to false hopes that you still feel for her.
    And that look in her eyes,
    That pull in her heart…
    It’s so much more than you deserve.




    Submitted on 2009-08-20 18:53:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      Hmm. Emotional abuse.
    Often women are so obscured from reality because their partners smother them in guilt and remorse. Eventually it wont matter what they do to them.
    No third party will be able to express their concerns.
    But it's hard to be objective if you're stuck in the middle of something. And if you keep denying yourself the truth, then you will start believing that what is happening is ok, and what you feel doesn't matter.
    It's not exactly easy to get out of a situation like that. But the best cure, is to be able to survive alone, and appreciate that alone time..
    I like the way you say "more than you deserve" but it doesn't get excessive. The idea is well expressed, and is something that I'm sure many people can relate to.
    Well done.
    ~N
    | Posted on 2009-08-23 00:00:00 | by Narna | [ Reply to This ]
      This poem brought me memories of my last relationship. It showed emotion and passion.
    | Posted on 2009-08-22 00:00:00 | by Alilia | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the fact that a girl is finally saying that she's too good for him :]

    But I think you should put your poem into stanzas and get a good rhyme pattern going because I noticed some of the words rhyme but its not really in a scheme. So that would make it better. But it's really great and I like the idea of your poem :D
    | Posted on 2009-08-20 00:00:00 | by Suicidalchild51 | [ Reply to This ]


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