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    dots Submission Name: How Do We Know?dots

    Author: Clayman
    ASL Info:    28 - getting late
    Elite Ratio:    6.34 - 609/327/167
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 721
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 650

       Just some general writing on people and the way we interact with them.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsHow Do We Know?dots

    How do we know if they are real? All the people in our lives, do they really understand? Or are they pretending to feel? Are they ever not acting underhand? Or do they really know first hand? What are we going to do without these people? Can we actually thrive or will it become more difficult to live..to exist..to feel? Or maybe that is exactly what we need to be real, to feed the chain of time they from us so easily steal. But this i know: no other path i choose to follow or choose to be mine other than trapping my thoughts in verse and rhyme. How can i meet all my brothers spread through space and time? I just want a family i can call mine.

    Submitted on 2009-08-21 07:44:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This rap-like style is very fun to read! You changed in two years ... reminded me of my little son, who goes out and talks to various trees when his humans aren't any use. The trees have names; some are old and called Master or The Great; some are grown-up trees called Mr or Mrs or Miss; and some are kid trees with nicknames. Each one has a different way that you have to behave toward it. During discussions with the boy, I quite often get to hear what some tree thinks about it.

    I got ES!
    | Posted on 2012-02-06 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      I reckon everybody is like me, even if we are damaged and added-to in wildly different ways.
    So there is a sort of Universe-deep sincerity going on ... if I can stay in the mood to look for it!

    With those feelings to start with, I like this poem very much because the topic is interesting.

    I like the verse-form, but I think your rhyming is crude, so that it's kinda distracting from the flow of message and feeling. But I can't tell you how to improve it ... maybe this is just a thing in my head and not an objective remark to make, for you did put a plan and some careful work into the rhyming here ...

    | Posted on 2009-11-29 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      I grasp the point you are trying to get across nicely.
    Very nice rhythm and rhyme in this poem.
    I enjoyed reading it and it really had me thinking.

    | Posted on 2009-08-21 00:00:00 | by phoenixtale | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow.. Very nicely put! I couldn't have said that better. It actually reminds me of the poem I wrote. Not so well-lol. But it was about my sisters huband bashing me for my Alcoholism..
    Long story short she just don't understand and would rather fight with me..
    Also in the past I surrounded myself around people that weren't so good for me. And I do wonder at times if they are okay and now I got new people around me in AA and see them like a family but not all of them see that..
    I also dont got any connections with my biological family was disownd and started to make freinds that became my family...
    A family that is mine...
    Any way very good write sorry for the long story on how the poem made me feel...
    I love to write..lol

    | Posted on 2009-08-21 00:00:00 | by totojane03 | [ Reply to This ]

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