Description: Just some thoughts on the ways i react to different ways i get treated.
Wicked Words -------------------------------------------
Like these words flowing forth freely silently strikingly seemingly so stable filled with knowing from my lips.
They can create feelings of pride and pleasure to which no words can describe, confide or measure.
So also can these words become blades and barbs like biased bullets silently squeezed from cruel communication clips.
Wars can be waged by bombs and guns.
But more so easily by malicious metaphors and prejudiced puns.
My words can be so soft, satirical biblical or sweet yet complete.
I never want to hurt you with hatred or stenchful sullen sayings discreet.
But force me to who i wont be and you will recieve me as whom i hate being, because you rejected seeing.
Now i will leave you infected and needing
always bleeding from mind and soul.
Now it's you who is unwhole, like me.
If thats how you want to be.
It was never my goal to take tainted twisted control.
I want my wise words to bring smiling to the malcontent masses.
Never to cause demise or despise while wearing
But benign or sublime i cannot create an escape
to what my faith encompasses.
Please don't turn my words to withered
weeps of sorrow.
I want to give you ample advice and truths to tell through today till tomorrow.
But how you yearn to learn these ways will wage how i will lend and you will borrow.
So please release this rage.
So i can pave the path to follow.
Again, I feel this piece shows potential in places, but overall sounds forced and clumsy.
I liked some of the content at the start: "bullets silently squeezed from cruel communication clips"...However, as with most of the piece this line did sound forced, as there was too much alliteration.
"Bullets squeezed from clips", may've worked better.
To sum up, I'd say there was far too much alliteration and forced rhyme. It sounds like Dr. Suess.
Devices in poetry (such as alliteration) need to be used moderately, otherwise the piece ends up sounding like a farce...which is OK if that's what you were aiming for, but in a serious piece it just doesn't work.
Anyway, keep up the writing and keep learning. The more you learn, the better you'll get!