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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Beginning and Foreverdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: silverpen
    ASL Info:    16/F/Right Behind You
    Elite Ratio:    3.47 - 16/34/31
    Words: 165
    Class/Type: Poetry/Them
    Total Views: 42
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 996



    Description:
       Just a poem written perhaps from the view of a child that cannot connect with their parents, or a child that has less than favorable ones. We have all been angry or upset with our parents or guardians once and that is what I was trying to represent. Enjoy.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBeginning and Foreverdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I am the beginning.
    I fueled your existence into life,
    I gave you a face and a body
    And a name to waste.
    I am the rule book.
    What I say, you shall obey.
    It doesn’t matter what you feel.
    I am the watcher and enforcer;
    The dispatcher and creator.
    Keep your feet on the line
    And your hands tied behind;
    Rewards and punishment.
    I am the understanding.
    If I say one word,
    Then it’s worth thousands more.
    Be quiet and smile,
    Instead of fighting my will;
    Believe without a reason,
    Go along without a reason.
    Love me as your only love.
    I am not The almighty,
    But I am your almighty.
    I gave you the means to breathe,
    And the lungs for you to use.
    I have the right to bleed you out--
    The blood was mine to start with.
    I am your parent;
    And there’s no way to change.
    I will never go away.





    Submitted on 2009-08-21 17:14:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Good Lord. I consider this work to be one of the most powerful poems I've ever read in all honesty. This poem not only flowed perfectly, but it also gave me a perfect image of a parent standing over a weeping child as the parent yelled this at their child. This is the epitome of what parenting should not be, yet I know parents who are like this. I think this one is so powerful because, in it's own twisted and undesirable way, it speaks the truth. This is one of my favorite dark poem of all time now.

    I love the allusion to God and how the parent says they are not Him, yet they demand the same respect as Him. In essence, they gave their child live, yet they overlook the fact that God gave them life as well (not trying to throw too much Christianity into this, but you get what I'm saying).

    This also has a bit of a Nazi feel with the "keep your feet on the line" part. This is the ultimate tyrannical parent, and I really like this poem. It is a great work and I'm excited to read more of your stuff.
    | Posted on 2009-09-14 00:00:00 | by FlickerofHope | [ Reply to This ]
      ^.^ Loverly! I loved the part where it said "I'm not the almighty, but I', your almighty." Shows how parents have a issue with thinking they are god over their child, and for a certain time span they really are. They feed and cloth us, they take care of our needs and wants. But at some point they also must realize that they have to let go. I must say the way you wrote it (Grammatically wise) was different from anything I've ever read or wrote before. I couldn't identify the flow, but it was there.
    | Posted on 2009-08-22 00:00:00 | by Scaredheart | [ Reply to This ]


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