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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A New Songdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: totojane03
    ASL Info:    25- colorado springs
    Elite Ratio:    3.95 - 151/77/35
    Words: 164
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Love
    Total Views: 370
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 874



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA New Songdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Sing to me a new song,
    One that has joy,
    Happyness, and isn't to long,
    Sing to me a new song,
    I will get my giutar and play along,
    Sing to me a new song,
    With a melody that is so strong,
    Sing to me a new song,
    That my heart can hear,
    And I will open my ears,
    Sing to me a new song,
    I can listen to all day long,
    Sing to me a new song,
    that gives me a hope to carrie on,
    Sing to me a new song that I will remember,
    And cheerish the rest of my life,
    Sing to me a new song,
    That gets ride of my strife,
    Sing to me a new song that,
    Can flow with my heart beat,
    Sing to me a new song,
    That tells me what I mean to you,
    Sing to me a new song,
    So I can exclaim how much I love you,
    Yes sing to me a new song.




    Submitted on 2009-08-22 12:55:50     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I love this song
    It's very sweet.
    Maybe spell check first,
    Don't want the reader getting sidetracked from the lovely meaning!
    | Posted on 2009-08-25 00:00:00 | by smexybabe0101 | [ Reply to This ]
      That gets ride of my strife,

    Also, "rid" is misspelled... sorry, missed that one. That's a total of 6 mistakes that were just unnecessary.
    | Posted on 2009-08-23 00:00:00 | by therealmojymo | [ Reply to This ]
      Happyness, and isn't to long,

    "Happiness" and "too" are misspelled.

    I will get my giutar and play along,

    "guitar" is misspelled.

    that gives me a hope to carrie on,

    "carry" is misspelled.

    And cheerish the rest of my life

    "cherish" is misspelled.




    It's very distracting. It subtracts from the message, because it makes you think the reader isn't worth reading, and I'm sure you are. You don't seem to care about how your work looks, tho, and there should be more pride in your work.
    | Posted on 2009-08-23 00:00:00 | by therealmojymo | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    177647

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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