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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the unexpecteddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: darkonesgirl
    ASL Info:    21/f/sc
    Elite Ratio:    3.32 - 233/245/125
    Words: 91
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 458
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 576



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe unexpecteddots
    -------------------------------------------


    sometimes everything dont go as planned
    we fall in love when we dont expect
    we get pregnant when we cant afford it
    we find comfort in unexpected places

    but its these times
    that makes life worth while
    it keeps us holding on
    and keeps us happy

    they may be unexpected
    and at first a tragedy
    but they end up turning
    into something beautiful and full of love

    i fell in love with you
    when i was to scared to
    and looking back now
    i wouldnt change a thing




    Submitted on 2009-08-22 19:51:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

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    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This is pretty good.

    The beginning kind of shocked me, I wasn't expecting it haha but the ending really reached out to me.
    I think that you could improve this more by putting in more emotion, to me I felt like I was reading the whole thing in a mono tone and it was so lifeless.
    The last two stanzas were probably the most emotional part because they described how you felt and stuff, you were scared but you went for it anyways kind of thing.
    And I think this is a poem that shouldn't have to rhyme.

    I hope to see more of your new stuff!
    | Posted on 2009-08-23 00:00:00 | by Suicidalchild51 | [ Reply to This ]


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