"How do you do Ms. Bringstein?"
That question brought me from my musings, I looked up at the rugged old man speaking to me from his seat across from mine at the large dinner table, it takes me only a moment to reply,"I fair quite well Mr. Lestrange. Thank you for asking." I really don't mean what I say, and I'm not sorry for that.
Who I am now, is the puppet of two rich businessmen. Yes, my birth-father is indeed a homosexual, but I don't mind. His husband is very kind, and treats me as if I were his own. My mother had died giving birth to me, I can't say that I miss her, because I hardly knew who she was. I don't love my father or his husband though, I can't, and I doubt I will.
They have me playing a facade for all their friends, for everyone really.
And I myself, find that I've allowed them to do this to me. I never objected to having them transform me, never once did I say I hated what I'd become; it wouldn't have mattered I guess. No one ever listens anyways.
Mr. Lestrange had nodded, and turned to speak to his wife who had been in a conversation with the company owner for Jaguar industries, a respectible company that sells "athlete" approved tenni shoes. I rolled my eyes, a polished fork in my white gloved hand, I moved aside the green vegetables that had been served that evening, and picked at the roast beef on my plate.
I wasn't hungry, I hardly ever was for this stuff. I would have preferred to eat at a local fast-food place. My father's wouldn't have had it though, I think they would have had a fit. They usually did, considering all my ideas were "nonsense". I put my fork down, hearing it clank quietly against my plate, I reached out for my glass of water, appropriately of course the way a lady should and took a ginger sip. I wanted to tear the dress I wore off, it was extremely itchy and uncomfortable. I was surrounded by Elders, no one of my age group; I was 17, and unfortunately I couldn't be out doing normal teenage things.
I was stuck listening to raising the price on this object, or re-shipping a new order of this product, and the woman gossiping about one another- pathetic. I don't pay much attention.
A hand fell on my shoulder gently, and I looked up to find Charlie (my father's husband) staring down at me with his plastic smile; a smile I was used to whenever we were around big time people:
" Honey, do you want to go home? It looks like you're not having much fun." It was at times like this that I loved Charlie, but only for a minute. I nodded immediately.
"Yes, please. I don't think I can handle much more of this." I whispered dramatically, acting the part of a tortured little doll.
That's what they expected me to act like after they asked me if I wanted to leave; it was a routine now that I started thinking back on all the invites I'd been to.
He smiled charmingly at me, and pulled my chair out for me so I could get out. I stood slowly, trying not to trip on my dress and walked to stand beside him. He offered me his arm and I took it to be polite. My chair had been pushed in and we walked to wards my father who was laughing at a joke that really wasn't all that funny. Charlie leaned down to whisper in my father's ear, and though he thought I hadn't noticed, I saw the nip given to my father's earlobe.
I assumed that meant that they'd be having "fun" when they got home.
Lucien, my birth-father looked at me with piercing green eyes, those eyes belonged to me as well. But mine were different much darker than my father's,"Are you sure you want to go home sweetheart?" he asked quietly.
I nodded again,"I'm positive Da-Father." I corrected myself quickly, and his smile broadened.
"Alright, Charlie, love, go ahead and take her to the limo." he pressed a chaste kiss to his husband's cheek, and gave me a loving tap to the chin before turning to speak once more to the people he and Charlie both had to kiss ass for.
I turned away from everyone with a smile, a fake smile. Nothing I ever did was genuine anymore; it was all a show to impress. Charlie made small talk with me, trying to get me to like him. I never understood why he bothered; my father was obviously madly in love with him, why was he still trying to win me over if he had my Dad already?
"Alright Honey, have a good night. Me and your father will be home around midnight, or one. I love you." he kissed my forehead, having opened the door to the luxurious limo we'd come in and I stepped inside. I knew he meant he loved me,but sadly, the feeling wasn't mutual.
He blew me another kiss, and I looked at him,"Thanks, I'll see you guys tomorrow. Night Charlie." he closed the door, and as soon as he did that, the glossy black limo took off.
I glanced out the back window to find him waving me off with a smile that looked nothing but real, and sorrowful. Did he really want me to like him that much? I shook my head turning away as soon as we were out of the long drive way of the stately mansion, and were on the road. I didn't push the black tinted window in the limo down to have my usual chat with James our driver. Instead I slumped back against my seat, pulling off all of the jewelry I had to wear along with the white gloves. I set them down beside me on the leather seats, and rubbed my face with my hands,
'God, I'm tired.' I thought.
I was indeed tired, tired off everything I had to put up with. Tired of having to live my life like a liar, I was wearing a mask and no one even knew it. No one except for my fathers. But they didn't do anything about it, they wanted me to have that stupid mask that hid who I was.
Slowly I started to doze off, until I heard my phone ring, and felt it vibrate on my leg. I lifted my dress up a little ways, having kept my cell strapped to my leg and pulled it out, I looked at the caller ID, it was Julie; another girl who was like me, the only difference was, was that she enjoyed being this way. I, on the other hand didn't. I debated on wether or not I should answer her, it would have been easier to ignore. But being the person that I am I was nice enough to answer:
"Hello?"
"Haaale! Oh my god, you answered me finally!" she giggled like an idiot on the phone, I had moved the phone away from my ear, holding it in front of my face. Her voice was loud, and annoying as usual.
"Yeah, I was at a party with my Dads, why?"
"Well, you're going to love me for this, but, I got two guys here at my place and I want to invite you over! You'll love Zale, I've already called dibs on his brother." she squealed.
"Julie, I can't go over. I'm really tired right now an-- Don't start with me Hale, you're coming or else I'll drag you over here." I believed her. She was capable of a lot of things.
"That's not necessary. . . look I'll go over to say hi, and I'm gone okay? I'm really tired tonight." I wasn't lying, I was ready to collapse then and there on the phone with her.
"Oh, Hale, you sooo won't regret coming. I promise, by girlie, mwuah!" I wrinkled my nose at the implied blown kiss and stared at the phone as she hung up. I tossed it off to the side angrily.
" I shouldn't have answered." I said aloud bitterly, crossing my arms over my stomach and began scratching at my torso. Damn dress was really starting to annoy me now. I tapped the window seperating me and the driver lightly, I waited a moment before it was lowered:
" Yes Ms. Bringstein?"
"James, new course. Head over to Julie's please, she's insisting I go visit her for a little before I go home. I won't stay long." he gave me a skeptical look," I'm serious, I don't feel like talking or being around anyone right now."
He shook his head,"Well alright. As you say Madam." the window rose slowly, and he disappeared behind the black. I sat back, holding my face in my hands and groaned. I didn't care to meet anyone, much less some guy Julie thought I'd hook up with just by meeting him. Hell, I've never really had a real relationship in my life; they were all for show. Not that I ever put up a fight against it. I was aways so neutral about everything, everyone managed to take advantage of me.
I was stupid, I am stupid for allowing everyone to do that. My head started to throb with an oncoming migraine, I winced, lowering my hands into my lap and closed my eyes. It'd be a couple minutes before we reached Julie's place, so a cat nap wouldn't have hurt me all that much; atleast that's what I thought.
I couldn't tell when we'd stopped, I'd actually managed a good fifteen minutes of sleep before I was woken up by James. I felt groggy and really cranky when he'd tapped me on my shoulder, I'd lashed out at him for it and apologized once the cold air of the night slapped against my irritated skin and really got me going. He accepted my apology quickly, and I was very appreciative of him. He was always so nice to me, I had grabbed my cell phone from it's spot on the floor of the limo before dailing Julie's number. It was a quick convo, I told her to open the gate and she did so zealously.
I waved James off, and he went back into the limo to sit down and wait for me to come back out. When I'd entered the large iron gates of Julie's home I took my time getting to her front door. I could already hear her irking laugh resound throughout the entire estate as I strode up the three small steps to her large glass door and knocked lightly. The shuffling of feet was heard and a minute later Julie had opened the door and whisped me inside.
"Hale, finally! Come on, come on. Let me introduce you to my new friends." she giggled, gesturing her hand to wards a tall, tanned, and shaggy blonde haired male with warm brown eyes and a Ken doll smile."That's Ashton Enkin, his dad works as an assisstant with mine," she informed me, then moved her hand to wards another male who didn't look anything like Ashton The Barbie Doll. He was different, chocolate brown hair was long but chopped into many different sections, his tips brushing barely against his shoulders. He was tall, and his skin was just as pale as mine. His eyes of course were brown too, but more honey-ish and mysterious. His body was skinnier than Ashton's, but still held something athletic about it, he didn't have that same Ken doll smile, his looked more at ease, comfortable."And this is his younger brother, Zale Enkin."
Both of them looked at me now, Ashton outstretched a hand and I shook it. While I went to turn my attention to Zale though, I retracted my hand since he'd only bowed his head somewhat and just smiled politely. As soon as the introductions were out of the way, Julie had insisted that we all sit down to 'chat' with one another; in truth though she'd gone off to one little corner of the room with Ashton and oogled him.
I was sure the conversation was just about Ashton considering I only saw Julie's lips move to agree or compliment him. I was left with Zale and we'd made ourselves comfortable on a large lounging sofa. I sat at one end, while he sat on the other. Silence had befallen us before he'd actually made an attempt to speak to me even though I looked unapproachable in the fatigued state I was in:
"Do you think by the end of the night those two will be together?"
I glanced over at them, and looked back at him with a meek smile,"I can't say otherwise. Looks like they're really clicking."
"Yeah, it does seem that way doesn't it?" he laughed, and the sound, so warm and quiet managed to wake me up a bit more,"I'm tempted to leave. I really don't feel like watching anything 'love-dovey' happen between them. I don't think my stomach could handle it."
"Ugh, I doubt mine would be able to either." I agreed with a wider smile. Are voices were mere whispers compared to Julie's and Ashton's."Why don't we just disappear to the front yard, what do you say?"
Zale nodded almost instantly and he looked relieved,"That sounds like a great idea." he stood up, offering me a hand. I was hesitant to take it, but in the end I did just to be polite you know? I couldn't just leave his hand there. Well, alright, I could have but I didn't feel like passing up a chance to touch his skin. It was just as soft as it looked! Softer even, but I kept that to myself. He lead me out of the living room I'd sat in countless times just listening to Julie talk about dramas that had passed between her and some girls or a guy, and we found ourselves in the front yard. They hadn't noticed are disappearance since we didn't hear anyone following us or come outside.
I'm not sure why, but I hadn't let go of his hand. It wasn't until I realized that I hadn't let go that my face turned scarlette and I cleared my throat to pull my hand back. I looked at the large fountain centered in the middle of the house's driveway, watching the water as it cascaded down into the pool below to make a soothing splashing noise.
I wasn't sure what I could say, I mean I didn't want to sound like a moron in front of him not that I ever sounded like one it's just that I felt nervous. When I'm nervous I'm more prone to acting like myself,"So, when did you get here?"
Zale turned his gaze on me and shrugged his shoulders,"I'm not sure, but we've been here a while. She's been keeping us captive here. . . or atleast me captive. So far my brother's been enjoying himself since she's been firting with him.
"I could tell. It must have been torture having to listen and watch them. I've been around her when she flirts with guys, it's very disturbing." I shuddered to emphasize my point and he laughed. I couldn't help but smile, knowing that I'd atleast given him some joy in the long night.
"Yeah, not being mean, but I'd rather be sitting with my dad at the party he went to tonight." he shook his head, his face twisting into that of annoyance before he turned his head, silky hair falling around his fragile looking face.
Obviously he wasn't the only one with problems."Actually, I disagree. I'd stayed at a party with my fathers. . . I would've been happy to stay here and watch Julie flirt, then listen to old people talk about money and things like that."
Zale's face looked confused,"Fathers?"
"Oh, yeah. I have two dads." I answered a question I knew would come right after,"yeah, my dad's gay."
Silence greeted me, and I felt nervous for some reason; had I been to blunt about it? Should I have just lied? I mean, I lied every day of my life. Why was I being honest with a guy I hardly knew? It made little sense to me, and irked me too. It had taken me atleast a month to come out and tell Julie my Dad and Charile were together. It wasn't something I thought was easy to say; they of course (Charlie and my Dad) are quite fine with being open about their sexual orientation. I'm a bit more reluctant to admit that they're both homosexuals. My dad hadn't always been gay, considering I'm here, I guess he just couldn't think of life with another woman and decided; if he couldn't have someone to match my Mother, he'd go with a man instead. It worked out pretty nicely from what I've seen.
"Must be hard, having to deal with that." Zale finally said in a hushed tone.
"No, it's not that hard to be honest." I paused,"on some occasions it is difficult. Like this one, it's hard to say what a person'll think of you after you tell them your Mom, or Dad swings a different way."
It looked like he wanted to laugh,"You're sure different from anyone I've ever met, Hale." he shook his head at me with an amused smile,"no one would have come out that easily about their parents being gay." Zale's face lifted to stare back at me,"thanks, for telling me. It does. . . mean a lot believe it or not."
I wanted to tackle the boy to the ground and hug him until he suffocated, but that wasn't too bright of an idea and besides, I wanted to keep him alive for a while longer,"Thanks for not looking at me like I'm some sort of a freak. That's usually the reaction I get, y'know?" I sighed silently,"just because my parents are gay, everyone else seems to think I'm heading that route, when I know that I'm not. I'm happy liking the opposite sex, not that I have complaints of liking the same sex but that's just not me." I explained, and he hadn't even asked me to. I felt embarrassed.
"I'm glad you don't go for your gender. It would've been a real blow in the gut for me if you did." Zale said with a meek expression, a very light chuckle moving passed his lucious lips. I could've kissed him then and there and emphasized my point of liking the opposite sex, but we'd just met and there really was no point in me finally scaring him away. I wasn't willing to take the risk of losing someone I'd come to enjoy more than anyone else in the whole world.
"Me too." Was my ingenious reply, Zale laughed, and my heart jumped up into my throat. I thought I was going to puke it out, but the feeling settled down and was replaced by the fluttering sensation of butterflies; pesky butterflies add that. He brushed a couple strands of hair from my face, and we both seemed to freeze in the moment. The action was so sweet and innocent, yet their had to have been hidden emotion behind it all. He cleared his throat, and I turned my face away.
As I was about to say something to him, Julie and Ashton disrupted our awkward moment to much of my dismay,"Hey guys! What're you doing out here?" she asked, that high-pitched voice shooting through my ear drums like an arrow; it was painful believe it or not. That girl had to learn how to control her damned voice, or else I would just glue her mouth shut. It was Ashton's turn to speak, his muscled arm wrapped around Julie's shoulder,"Yeah, did we gross you out or something?" he teased with a wide grin that exposed toothpaste approved comercial teeth that were just too white for a normal kid to have.
Zale and I both looked at each other before moving our attention back to the pair,"Yeah." we replied in unison, and then burst out into laughter. Ashton and Julie looked at us as though we'd lost our minds, and whispered quietly to themselves. At one point in my mindless laughter, I thought I heard Ashton say me and Zale might've stolen a bottle of wine and gotten drunk. That just made me laugh harder; they were so stupid sometimes. I'd almost cried of sheer entertainment, but held fast as I straightened out and both Zale and I's laughter faded into small giggles.
"Are you two okay? You guys didn't. . .drink anything, did you?" Julie's voice was laced with worry, and I bit my lip to keep from laughing again, thankfully Zale replied to her question,"We're perfectly fine, we haven't sipped from anything." he held his right hand palm up,"we promise."
Ashton and Julie both smiled to each other before nodding their heads to us,"Okay, we were just worried. You two bust out into a sudden rant of laughter and. .it kinda freaked us out." Ashton admitted, his free hand which wasn't around Julie's shoulder scratching the back of his head.
"Yeah, but kinda doesn't even begin to explain how freaked out I was. I was just about ready to call your dad or something." Julie said with a soft giggle.
"I wouldn't have minded too much, I should be going anyways." I said as I looked around for a clock, but there wasn't one around.
"Awe, already? Too bad." Julie faked a pout and rushed to wards me, nearly squeezing the life out of me as she hugged me. I patted her back a couple times before pushing away slowly and waved my hand to Ashton,"Nice meeting you." he waved back nodding. Julie returned to his side, and Zale looked at me with what looked like a frown.
"See you around?"
"Definately."
"Here, this is my number. Give me a call sometime." Zale mumbled, handing me a piece of paper with his number scratched down onto it. I observed it for a long while before smiling widely and hugged the boy without even thinking about doing it. I lasted like that for a little while until I heard someone clear their throat and pulled away almost immediately.
"Thanks. . I'll be calling soon." I assured him, he was blushing, I'm pretty sure I was too. I gave one last wave, before I sprinted to wards the gates where the limo was waiting. They opened almost as soon as I'd touched them, and I'd zoomed into the car, slamming the door,"James! Let's go!" I called out, knocking on the window between us twice before I heard him start the vehicle and begin to drive away. I probably sounded exasperated, even when I hadn't done much of anything. I looked at the piece of paper in my hand, staring at the number scribbled down on it. I felt so giddy, just staring at it.
"Finally. Someone I can actually get along with." I thought, then let my eyes move to stare out the window to the left of me, buildings and other cars passing by in a blur. The entire ride home, I was comfortable- excluding the dress. I was as happy as a kid at a candy store. I know, that saying's used a lot, but I like it. What really got me was the fact that Zale hadn't been all over Julie like Ashton had been. I mean, usually when there were guys around they'd forget me and go with Julie. This was something new. Now, don't get me wrong. Guys like me too, only, whenever I don't have to act like a prepped up princess I act like myself- somewhat.
That's what drives them over to Julie, the pampered puppy.
I don't mind that the guys go to her, because frankly I don't need anyone to keep me happy. I'm happy with just being alone. Though, sometimes it would be nice to feel some companionship every once in a while. Who wouldn't want that? |