Description: This is one of the poems I really enjoyed writing. Problem was that I was writing it whilst watching Dara O'Briain andJimmy Carr, and since this poem is quiet serious, that didn't really help.
But I always liked that odd phrase "Fishing for the dead.", thus I added it into this.
This is slightly a personal poem to me, and I'd like to share it so others can read it and share their views on it...
I'm fishing for the unknown dead
that lurk beneath my bed.
There shadows of memories, kept inside
my always straying head.
In the darkness, they do screm
in horror or in fright.
They always seem to run away
when blackness is highlighted by light.
I'm fishing for the yellow bones
that scatter my bedroom floor.
They always seem semi-broken
and always sitting at the door.
Infants do not dare to wander
into my lonesome den.
Is it because of teh blood thristy
hound, in it's jaws a wren.
I'm fishing for the dying bodies
that crawl within my skull.
Laughing with mirth and sadness,
this pain in which I mull.
Yet life will never stop for me,
will never slow me light.
But in the war against myself
I gained the hope within the fight.
This is rather strange but I think that I liked it a lot. I like how you keep the same theme throughout the poem, and how you described different sounds and didn't change the rhyme scheme. Although, sometimes the rhyming is a bit off beat, like in the line, 'when blackness is highlighted by light' and some of the other last lines. (Also, I think there are two typos...did you mean teh and screm in lines 5 and 15 to be the and scream...?) Anyhow, I think my favorite parts were the first two lines and the last two lines...good job!