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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: You windots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: fattestpirate
    ASL Info:    74/F/Canada
    Elite Ratio:    2.35 - 13/11/9
    Words: 167
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 2449
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1130



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou windots
    -------------------------------------------


    well okay
    if that's the way you want it
    then fine
    you win, i quit
    I finally give up

    you could have just told me
    you could have just said it
    whatever the problem
    I may never know
    why not just say it

    why'd I waste my time
    why'd I even try
    who knows
    but it's enough
    I give up

    I've had enough
    I give up
    you win, I quit
    what was shared
    will be missed

    But I can't go on
    trying my best
    trying to right what's wrong
    trying to fix it
    I tried, but now I quit

    call it what you will
    whatever it may be
    but one must realize defeat
    when he cannot succeed
    when multiple tries, all get him nowhere

    it's hard to see
    through all the pain
    through all the tears
    through it all
    I must now stop

    So live your life
    without me in it
    if that's what you wish
    Enjoy it
    Goodbye




    Submitted on 2009-08-24 20:56:34     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      a. you're cool for a 74 year old and
    2. as a consequence you seam to have a handle on how it is in the real world but
    c. i think you have wasted some of the impact of what might have impacted because there is a lot of repetition so
    d. in my opinion you should refine this because the central message is very clear and very relevant maybe
    5. in this sort of way:

    well alright,
    if that's the way you want it
    then fine.
    you win,
    i quit:
    i finally give up

    you could have just told me;
    you could have just said it;
    whatever the problem.
    now i may never know so,
    why not just say it?

    why did i waste my time?
    why did I even try?

    who knows?
    but it's enough:
    i give up now.

    yes i've had enough and yes,
    i give up:
    you win
    and i quit

    what was shared
    will be missed
    but I can't go on,
    trying my best;
    trying to right what is wrong...

    just some ideas to get you half way down the page - maybe you can join the dots...

    take it easy,

    k

    | Posted on 2009-10-01 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this. We've all lived through this at some time. Very well described. It's hard but we do survive.
    | Posted on 2009-08-25 00:00:00 | by ModestyB | [ Reply to This ]


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