Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dog Shit Parkdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: vanhokinshtyl
    ASL Info:    8/M/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 119/200/71
    Words: 230
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 487
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1541



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDog Shit Parkdots
    -------------------------------------------


    We live in cardboard houses to know the truth,
    We live the simple life,
    I don't think that beer helps the tomatoes grow,
    Sittin next to Trish we live in the dog shit park...

    Sleep alone or sleep along..

    You must first be a man to become one,
    But there are no men to fight (to prove your worthiness)
    If I water your pepper plant,
    Would you pepper my water plant?

    (Sleep alone)
    Let me get some sleep tonight,
    Then we can drive 'til Saturday,
    It's only Sunday, Tuesday is too far away..
    If I don't get to sleep tonight,
    Then after the drive on Saturday
    I'll sleep 'til next Monday...

    This is the end...

    And I was just kidding,
    Push me off this ledge, and then I'll have to fly,
    Or die trying, but I'm already so high
    That nobody can reach me,
    The rain don't taste the same,
    When you never look that way

    Sleep alone or sleep along...

    (Sleep alone)
    Let me get some sleep tonight,
    Then we can drive 'til Saturday,
    It's only Sunday, Tuesday is too far away..
    If I don't get to sleep tonight,
    Then after the drive on Saturday
    I'll sleep 'til next Monday...

    Fall, fall, fall, like soldiers,
    In the middle of war
    Or when it's finally over...

    And it's all over.




    Submitted on 2009-08-24 23:42:35     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
       hmm alot of mixed thoughts here still conforming to the main idea, i like how you state that beer doesnt help the tomatoes grow, thats like something from an lsd trip haha, anyways i liked this piece in a sense how you describe that truths are revealed in simplicity and different experiences shape you. Also my favourite line is "the rain doesnt taste the same" its a very interesting piece that i feel means more to you than it could to those reading it. To say you have an easy mind to understand would not be true indeed. What does it mean to pepper the water plant? I thought that was quite intreaguing in itself... Anyways it was an interesting read to say the least.
    | Posted on 2009-08-25 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    177737

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry