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    dots Submission Name: Aaron Bolt and the Fat Chance: sneak peak 1dots

    Author: coloredstone
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 99/60/37
    Words: 512
    Class/Type: Story/Misc
    Total Views: 798
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2966

       I don't even know if I'm going to use this. I'm trying to build my characters and the plot right now, and testing my writing style.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAaron Bolt and the Fat Chance: sneak peak 1dots

    “Hey mom,” I said as I went into the kitchen. In one swift, graceful motion I grabbed an orange from the basket as I slid towards the screen door.
    “Mark! Oh thank God, I need someone to watch over the kids outside.”
    I slipped and fell to the ground with a thud. Ow.
    “Kids?” I asked, rubbing my head.
    “Yes dear, Aunt Miranda’s babysitting troupe. She had a doctor’s appointment and arranged to leave them here for a while.”
    I could hear faint screams and squeals.
    “They’re in the yard?” I asked.
    “Alone?” I nearly jumped out of my shoes.
    “No dear, especially not with that mess your dad left in the back. I keep telling him to clean it up…”
    “So where are you going?”
    “Oh nowhere, I just have to keep an eye on the bread. Mrs. Oklahoma is sick and I wanted to send her something. Aaron is out there now but you know he’s not very good with kids.”
    “Ho!’ I said. The presence of Aaron had come to be very appealing to me. I dashed outside. Aaron was standing in the distance, whistling, with children running around him in circles. When he saw me he raised his eyebrows and smiled.
    “Mark,” he said.
    “Aaron,” I answered. “Nice to see you again, really. Since when are you not good with children?”
    Aaron smiled and his cheeks went slightly red.
    “Well…that’s not to say they don’t like me. I think they’re quite fond of me, actually. But in matters of feeding, diapers and such, well…”
    “well, you’re a big baby yourself.” I finished. Aaron rolled his eyes.
    “Have you discovered anything while I was away?” he asked.
    “I’m not the one to be asked. How goes the search in Moose Jaw?”
    Aaron shrugged.
    “Looks like a false lead, to be honest. I’m trying to look at it from a different perspective.” He said, thoughtfully. “We might have gone after the wrong noun.” I looked at him with incredulity as Jamie came running towards us, crying.
    Aaron picked her up and spun her around. She tried to keep crying but resigned to a smile. After a while the little girl threw her head back and laughed heartily. I thought about what he had said. The wrong noun? Person, place, or thing, I thought as I turned to look at the stuff my dad had piled by the fence. There were two logs there, goodness knew what for. I remember we had some when I was younger. Joni and I had made totem poles out of them. And gotten into some real trouble.
    And then something hit me.
    “Sitting Bull,” I said, watching the flying little kid. Aaron stopped and turned to look at me.
    “Sitting Bull?” he asked.
    “Well, Sitting Bull could be related to Moose Jaw…”
    “A-gaaan! A-gaaan!” the girl screamed, clapping Aaron’s shoulders.
    “Ah!” Aaron said, as in something had dawned upon his puny brain. And then: “AHH!”
    As in the little girl had just pulled his ears.
    “Agaan.” She declared.

    Submitted on 2009-08-25 06:20:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like how Mark gracefully falls. Stories should always have a bit of humor, that's excellent, but the plot has to be interesting. This little part of the story doesn't show anything about the main plot, but it sounds good. Add me to the reader's list as well.
    | Posted on 2009-12-09 00:00:00 | by IYusuf | [ Reply to This ]
      hmmm... i had no idea what they were talking about. but it seemed interesting! so count me on the list of who can read it when its done.
    I like the wriing its almost future like.

    | Posted on 2009-09-06 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]

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