[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Untitleddots

    Author: HeavensDeceit
    ASL Info:    23/F/Ky
    Elite Ratio:    3.59 - 45/70/27
    Words: 160
    Class/Type: Misc/Broken
    Total Views: 655
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 977


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    Drenched in the blood of the ones who came before me
    Their sins resting heavily on my head
    I try to break through their mistakes
    Prove that I am worthy
    Succeed where they failed
    But it is all to no avail
    His walls are high, thicker than an oak
    He keeps the world at bay
    All out of fear of what he's already been through
    They wounded him, broke him down
    Shattered everything in him
    They never cared what became of him
    Now, here I sit, trying to find a way
    Trying to break through his walls
    Trying to save him from the misery
    I'm at a loss, his walls are too high, too thick to get through
    Helplessness and despair wash over me
    He's lost in his own world, I'm lost without him
    I try to save him
    He slips further into the darkness
    It's a never-ending cycle of pain
    There's nothing to be done to stop it

    Submitted on 2009-08-25 11:24:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]