Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Feline Frenzydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jessa
    ASL Info:    29/f/pa
    Elite Ratio:    3.73 - 221/209/73
    Words: 223
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 559
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1393



    Description:
       I'm at the point of giving up...but my cat has no one else. He is my lifeline at the moment. Poor thing. Documentation that states one cannot physically work is not enough for some people to get help. I refuse to pop out babies for the welfare to pay for. Heaven forbid we help responsible people who truly cannot work. They don't have children...they won't be missed. This is probably my worst piece, by the way...just felt the need to bitch a little and sit in my shit.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFeline Frenzydots
    -------------------------------------------


    The cat curls up at the edge of the bed
    No idea what's in mommy's head
    There's plenty of food for my furry friend
    But the supplies for my belly have come to an end

    Laid off from my job and living alone
    One room apartment to consider my home
    Bills roll in on a daily basis
    I bury my head to hide from the faces

    The government pays for those with kids
    Hand-outs for those who can't close their lids
    I have no children because I wasn't ready
    Can't bring a life into the unsteady

    No medical, no food stamps, no hope to pay rent
    My straightened-out life is officially bent
    My health gets worse through every tear that falls
    No motivation to answer my calls

    I cannot survive without medication
    Damn this cat and his dedication!
    Don't want to fight for pity pay
    But I promised my cat that I would stay

    Doctors say disabled, but the government denies
    Who made them the Lord of the Flies?
    Got to keep going for promises made
    Without this damn cat I could peacefully fade

    My beautiful cat, my only child
    All that is innocent is all that is wild
    Through the trials of this world that threaten to kill
    My baby boy is my wonder pill.




    Submitted on 2009-08-25 22:11:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Aaah, this is well structured and well written, even though it conveys a sad message. It has good structure, style, and tells a lucid story! The cat doesn't even know how lucky it is, and you are such a good samaratin to care for your cat even when you are denied yourself.

    I just hope and pray that things get better for you, pretty lady! We all love you and wish you well here at Elite!
    | Posted on 2009-08-26 00:00:00 | by Ron Cole | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    177790

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Giving written by jjd
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Bond written by saartha
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Incubus written by monad
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Wavelength written by saartha
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Promise written by annie0888
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    Linger written by saartha
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry