Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Drowning Mermandots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: jezracrow
    ASL Info:    90+/F/Witness Relocation
    Elite Ratio:    6.52 - 10/6/4
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 672
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 824



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Drowning Mermandots
    -------------------------------------------


    I remember Mexico without you,
    a rain-scented suitcase of cotton lies
    tossed overboard in deep waters,
    your watch and handgun later traded
    for a bag of red mangoes and fresh sandals
    on shady back roads behind Tapa's Bar
    near that lonely beach in Costa Maya.

    I became a summer stray, roaming the island
    with wild dogs and curious children, an oddity
    spotted by waving fishermen on teal mornings
    before the next boat sailing to Guardalavaca
    finally came. I remember Cuba without you,
    a new sundress with cash from your wallet
    before I kissed the oiled black leather
    and threw that last piece of you away.

    Adios, amor, gracias por la nueva ropa y el paseo libre...
    lastima que no sabía nadar.




    Submitted on 2009-08-28 14:22:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      this makes me ache so much. the images you conjure, so bittersweet - yet, by not tasting those memories, how can life ever be complete?

    beautiful, beautiful piece.
    | Posted on 2009-09-04 00:00:00 | by meoww | [ Reply to This ]
      Oh, apart from being impertinent (below), I want to tell you that I like your free verse a lot, a lot. I just go by how it sounds, not by what it means; and this verse sounds so good, I think you must be good at it.
    | Posted on 2009-08-30 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
      I theenk you needing a new woman, my friend?
    | Posted on 2009-08-30 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    177892

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    untitled written by Outlaw
    Coversheets written by TheStillSilence
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Delicious Stews written by elephantasia
    Snippet written by Daniel Barlow
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    (Untitled Song) written by TeslaKoyal
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    Vortex: The Imagination That Is written by KeeperOfLight
    Untitled written by Daniel Barlow
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    A bit of Pain written by teika5
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    Deep written by Janesaddiction

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry