Sign up to EliteSkills

Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password


Author: obaid
ASL Info:    21/M/Gauntlet
Elite Ratio:    4.52 - 148 /93 /34
Words: 150
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1202
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 935


writing something a long while later...i know i have gotten rusty!


Sorry there's no map that comes with this body
No map to where it hurts the most.
But you could actually take a look
Into it, into the ever-open book.

The road lined inside the veins
Not straight just go in circles.
With one face in the center.
A face to hold your gaze in its beauty you shall wonder!

You walk forward you search for the cause of the pain
Knowing it shall be in the heart that's where you head
But its a room of only mirrors that mirrors the face
The only face to ever be beating at an even pace.

Where is the pain you wonder? What's causing it?
You swim your way through the blood
The pinnacle you have reached to find only hollows
Hollows where the trace of intelligence should have been.

This body goes through numbness and pain...again...again...again...

Submitted on 2009-08-30 07:22:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  This was an awesome piece. I loved how you used a map for inspiration. That's original and a great way to explain your pain.
| Posted on 2009-08-30 00:00:00 | by Jessa | [ Reply to This ]

Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?