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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dominodots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Zai
    ASL Info:    24/m/US
    Elite Ratio:    3.97 - 66/145/98
    Words: 192
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Longing
    Total Views: 614
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1109



    Description:
       I had a more pop sounding beat in my head for this one, but I think they're pretty flexable lyrics.

    Open to new things.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDominodots
    -------------------------------------------


    I dont wanna be another domino
    Touch and go, another ebb and flow
    I dont wanna be another picture on the wall
    Hear another tear fall, another brick in the wall

    I just wanna be happy with what I've got here
    I want to settle my fear, make my vision clear
    I just wanna hold tight the one I hold dear
    Keep this tear and let loves candle roar
    I wanna be there, just wanna be there

    I dont wanna bring you down or wear this crown,
    Dont wanna feel this rage and break this cage.
    I dont want to masquerade in every past mistake,
    To push and break cant be my only escape.

    I dont wanna be another gust of wind
    Here and gone again, just a simple whim.
    Another crested wave to break the day
    I dont wanna be another grain of sand
    Blown across the land to another pile again

    I wanna be happy with the little things
    Like a breath of wind to cool my skin
    Or the sweet embrace of true loves first taste
    And the warmpth of God in his own brace.




    Submitted on 2009-08-30 23:57:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Well I'll be honest... I was attracted to this first by the title. My nickname is Domino to a certain person. Though when I actually read this peice, I fell quickly for the imagery and flow used.
    *I dont wanna be another gust of wind
    Here and gone again, just a simple whim.
    Another crested wave to break the day
    I dont wanna be another grain of sand
    Blown across the land to another pile again

    ...this speaks worlds to me. I've found myself thinking this same this, well not in the exact words, but I understand what your getting at.
    I verra much enjoyed reading this.
    | Posted on 2009-12-11 00:00:00 | by DearlyDeparted | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow!!!!!!

    Why does this poem not have more comments!?? Seriously, answer me!!! What gives!?

    This is an amazingly captivating rap. You have an incredible ear for rhythm and pacing.

    This is a highly rewarding, stimulating piece that reminds me of the work of Eminem in 8-mile.

    Here's a tip: remove "another" from the second line of the poem. I think then it will sound like what you want it to sound like:

    I dont wanna be another domino
    Touch and go, ebb and flow
    I dont wanna be another picture on the wall
    Hear another tear fall, another brick in the wall
    | Posted on 2009-10-17 00:00:00 | by isselman2001 | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice, I can imagine a beat for this in my head. Probably not the same beat you were thinking, that would be a bit freaky :P
    Do you play an instrument?
    Favourite line, by the way: "I dont want to masquerade in every past mistake"

    Iffy
    | Posted on 2009-10-08 00:00:00 | by Iffy | [ Reply to This ]


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