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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Trauma Victims dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: TheStillSilence
    ASL Info:    20/F/Out in Outer Space
    Elite Ratio:    5.1 - 180/107/54
    Words: 132
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 556
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 929



    Description:
       Needs works. All thoughts appreciated.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTrauma Victims dots
    -------------------------------------------


    The drops of rain fell in patterns:
    Drip, drop, drip drip drop!
    Against closed doors, umbrellas and rain boots-
    (Precautions to protect themselves from harmless predators.)

    Through windows the outcasts peeked
    As they danced to their deaths:
    Into boyish laughter, girlish smiles, and candy-coated dinners-
    Untarnished love which neither the cold ground, unfamiliar air nor perspiring clouds knew about.

    Amix these familial portraits of serenity,
    The poor things lost all thrill.
    The dance was neglected,
    And the final splash seemed an unfair end.

    Drops of rain distill incessantly, in an absence of magnificence and charm-
    Washed in the gray that has been worm throughout centuries by the forlorn peasants, childless mothers and ghosts of wishes and dreams that suffered trauma.







    Submitted on 2009-09-01 22:45:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
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    ||| Comments |||
      Gosh, this is nice to read. A kind of romantic-movie kiss in the rain scene without the kiss, or the lover. Just the rain that makes a good setting, character and plot. I like it. You have a good scene here that, though is kind of exploited otherwise, makes its own niche elsewhere. Like behind the window where someone watches.
    | Posted on 2009-12-27 00:00:00 | by JenFlynn | [ Reply to This ]


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