Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Abort This Child!dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: mojymo
    Elite Ratio:    6.43 - 50/59/41
    Words: 253
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 676
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1684



    Description:
       Honestly, since I'm 17, if I got pregnant, I'd abort the child within me. I'm adopted, and b/c I could not take on the responsibility of the child (not b/c I don't want to but b/c I couldn't), I would have to place that child in the position I had been. I would not want that at all. A child wondering who it belonged to, always having that lingering, homesick feeling as if something were wrong even when everything seemed just how it was meant to be...? No. I get that feeling when I'm with my crowd of friends or about to do something that I wish my real mother had been there to say, "I'm so proud of you! You worked so hard!" and throw her fat arms around me. I wouldn't want to bring a child into this world when I could not raise it with my own hands and work to have it grow and live. Pro-choice all the way. (But, please, know that I would never do this to a child. I couldn't. This was simply to affect the audience. Please).


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAbort This Child!dots
    -------------------------------------------


    I hold this new mistake in my arms
    and swear it to be my last.

    It breathes and cries and--
    smells so...good.

    It squirms pathetically in my arms,
    too weak to tell me "no"
    or push away my cold fingers
    from its warm cheek.

    I hold its hand and stroke it absently,
    my eyes catching the fresh life in my new burden.

    My forehead bows without reverence to meet the clean flesh
    of this...thing.


    Resentful tears fall fast and hard,
    splashing into the blue eyes of this creature,
    making it blink as it sounds the alarm of unsatisfaction
    with lungs that hold more than my heart could for its existence.

    "I didn't want you," I whisper just before the nurses arrive
    with papers.
    As they leave again, I say,
    "I don't love you."
    And examine the papers.

    I tear them to shreds, refusing the adoption
    and wish I had thought of that other "a" word before it was too late...

    Abortion.

    I got caught in a ball of yarn that stretched 9 whole months
    and unraveled my life.

    "I don't want you, and I don't love you.
    You are no child of mine!"

    It takes only seconds before it stops crying,
    before its small, weak limbs fall limp on the white bed
    beneath my guilty pillow.

    I blame the morphine and the nurses.
    And regret does not find company
    in my heart.

    End: 12:37 am
    Wed. Sept. 2, 09




    Submitted on 2009-09-01 23:22:21     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Bah.
    I was given up at birth and put up for adoption.
    My view is that my mother made the best choice she could concerning both her future and mine. I believe it was a hard choice and took effort to follow through on.
    You would rather condemn a child to your selfishness and self pity than give it a chance of a better life with humans who want to care for it?
    Grow up before you breed, please.
    | Posted on 2009-09-02 00:00:00 | by latentlylyrical | [ Reply to This ]
      There is no realism in this poem at all.

    It's probably not as badly written as that other one I saw, but some parts border on hilarity:

    "It breathes and cries and--
    smells so...good."

    Your description is most likely longer than your actual poem and honestly, you sound completely out of your depth.

    You should write about real things which affect you, or at least if anything is, write about it in a more realistic way, don't glorify your own drama, it ruins your writing.

    -Craig
    | Posted on 2009-09-02 00:00:00 | by Raphael | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    178034

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Stretto written by saartha
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Aftermath and Waltz written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Faith In Line written by MyPeriodical
    Blood to Plowshares written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    Genesis written by saartha
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    The First Time written by Wolfwatching
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Born of the Mouth written by MyPeriodical
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    On Top of a Water Wheel written by Wolfwatching
    The Search written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the Epilogue written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Sunt Mala Quae Libas written by MyPeriodical
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    I'm here written by BloodtornAngel
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry