Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: But yetdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dark Dann
    ASL Info:    18/ Male/ San Diego
    Elite Ratio:    6.44 - 78/67/53
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 856
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1030



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBut yetdots
    -------------------------------------------


    the rain pours down,
    and my soul hits the ground.
    Allow me to drown
    and to never be found.

    How in the world can I stay?
    Sitting here, waiting for you
    How in the world can I stay?
    Collecting dust, thinking of you.

    But yet...
    But yet...
    the mere thought of moving away from you
    It sends chills up my spine...

    Who would take your place? Really, who?!
    everyone I meet, my heart gladly declines.
    It's like if my heart is stuck ..
    and it refuses to move on.

    I can feel my heart drop
    and my life is slowly gone
    I shouldn't let this be!
    I should try to move forth!

    But yet...
    But yet...
    I'm stuck on this dream
    This dream that should not be...

    Of me and you,
    in the way my heart seeks...
    the sky turns blue
    and together we spend weeks...

    But I know it isn't so....




    Submitted on 2009-09-04 00:49:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I havent seen anything like this in a while! It is definately refreshing to find. I would love to be able to rhym like this but it doesnt come to me.

    Great write.

    Buster
    | Posted on 2010-03-30 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    178120

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Bam (Awash). written by Daniel Barlow
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    The Last to Walk the Earth written by HisNameIsNoMore
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    "other people don't get that" written by Daniel Barlow
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Lunch written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Skulls Beyond the Palisade written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Instances written by hyproglo
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    A Fire! A Knife! A Black Crow Calls! written by HisNameIsNoMore
    ... written by Daniel Barlow
    less is more written by Daniel Barlow
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    Watch them Die written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Dirge of Nostalgia written by HisNameIsNoMore
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Bam written by Daniel Barlow
    Limbo written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Convergence written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Chasing The Lie written by jackz
    Legends written by poetotoe
    Still written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Tides of Man written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Stance written by Daniel Barlow
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry