Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: But yetdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dark Dann
    ASL Info:    18/ Male/ San Diego
    Elite Ratio:    6.44 - 78/67/53
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 756
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1030



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBut yetdots
    -------------------------------------------


    the rain pours down,
    and my soul hits the ground.
    Allow me to drown
    and to never be found.

    How in the world can I stay?
    Sitting here, waiting for you
    How in the world can I stay?
    Collecting dust, thinking of you.

    But yet...
    But yet...
    the mere thought of moving away from you
    It sends chills up my spine...

    Who would take your place? Really, who?!
    everyone I meet, my heart gladly declines.
    It's like if my heart is stuck ..
    and it refuses to move on.

    I can feel my heart drop
    and my life is slowly gone
    I shouldn't let this be!
    I should try to move forth!

    But yet...
    But yet...
    I'm stuck on this dream
    This dream that should not be...

    Of me and you,
    in the way my heart seeks...
    the sky turns blue
    and together we spend weeks...

    But I know it isn't so....




    Submitted on 2009-09-04 00:49:24     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I havent seen anything like this in a while! It is definately refreshing to find. I would love to be able to rhym like this but it doesnt come to me.

    Great write.

    Buster
    | Posted on 2010-03-30 00:00:00 | by BusterLILblock | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    178120

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Day 6 written by TheStillSilence
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    no sky on the other side written by teika5
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Compartments written by TheStillSilence
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Not the Devil, but the Wind written by endlessgame23
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Relentless. The Visceral Fracture. written by Daniel Barlow
    The Abyss of Love written by poetotoe
    Things They (Don't) Say written by TheStillSilence
    Gaia written by endlessgame23
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    Honeymoon written by TheStillSilence
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Loop-di-Loop written by endlessgame23
    The Want written by Daniel Barlow
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Mystery Read written by kyserin
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23
    The Poems Death written by Mepoduo
    The World written by jjd

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry