Tick tock tick…
The clock strikes midnight
I wonder, what am I doing tonight?
Tick Tock tick…
I sit here, in the past
Remember your fragment embrace
It all happened so fast
And in the end I was left with disgrace
A feather slowly falls
You can’t seem to hear my calls
I shout, I cry,
Those words still ring…
Good-bye…
It was just a small fling…
Tick Tock Tick
Another hour passes by
And it feels I’m about to die
Another hour away from you
I don’t know what to do…
Tick Tock Tick...
Now the feather hits the ground
And our time is up
And I still hear that dreaded sound
And the volume keeps going up;
“Good-bye my love”.
Tick Tock Tick
What lead me to wake up at midnight?
What made me dream about you tonight?
A memory lost in despair
It only cause my heart to tear
So why, why did your memory return?
And caused me to feel an everlasting burn…
I feel like the first bit was really good, and then it just kind of crescendoed and let me down. Like, it's not bad. I just had a sort of expectation that it didn't follow.
disgrace. For some reason that word really stuck out to me. In a bad way. Like..I felt like it didn't fit there.
Overall, this piece has a strong feeling. Something people can really relate to. Something full of oomph. I think it's a nice write. Probably better than anything I could do.
Submission Name: Time
