[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: en espanol! :Odots

    Author: Dark Dann
    ASL Info:    18/ Male/ San Diego
    Elite Ratio:    6.44 - 78/67/53
    Words: 249
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 612
    Average Vote:    4.5000
    Bytes: 1546


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsen espanol! :Odots

    Mi corazon te grita
    Mis labios mencionan tu nombre
    Pero tu ya tienes otro hombre,
    que te lleva mas ariba
    Y yo no logro alcancarte con mi amor!

    Ya no puedo n dia mas sin ti
    Sin tu a un lado de mi
    mi vida regresa al ayer
    y ya no se que hacer
    Pues, la vida asi duele
    Y mi corazon se muere

    Mi corazon te grita
    Mis labios mencionan tu nombre
    pero ya no se que hacer!
    Solo verte junto a el,
    ya no lo quiero creer!

    Y perdoname, yo me resito a verte junto a el
    Olvidame! Mejor regrasa a su lado otra vez
    Y dejame, a morir con una respidad


    My heart yells to you,
    my lips mention your name
    But you have another guy
    Who takes you higher
    And with my love, I'm unable to reach you

    I can't take one more day without you
    Without you by my side
    My life returns to what it was
    And I don't know what to do
    For life like this hurts
    and my heart begins to die

    And my heart yells to you
    my lips mention your name
    but I don't know what to do
    Only seeing you by his side....
    I don't want to believe it

    Forgive me, I refuse to see you with him
    Forget me, it's better if you return to his side
    and leave me, to die with one final breath

    Submitted on 2009-09-04 00:57:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      well I don't speak spanish but I loved the english translation. i can relate. what I like the most is the ending " and leave me, to die with one final breath" it makes the ending have significance. I'd say this is a good piece.
    | Posted on 2009-11-05 00:00:00 | by bloddyrazorgirl | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Wavelength written by saartha
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    What happens written by Wolfwatching
    Linger written by saartha
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    World I No Longer Want written by ForgottenGraves
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Every..... written by jackz
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]