Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: 5 O'clock Fatalitydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: SanctityExposed
    ASL Info:    25
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 48/66/40
    Words: 229
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 572
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1538



    Description:
       Complete shit and an utter disaster at an attempt of poetry.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots5 O'clock Fatalitydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I will give one dollar
    To the person who can say
    "There's something wrong with this"
    And actually be accurate.

    I'll get on my paypal account
    Make you get on yours
    And send you exactly
    One dollar of your choice.

    After that dollar is sent
    I will message you on
    A MSN account
    Which I will also make you get.

    Once that message is sent
    You will read it and smile
    Because only then will you know
    That all along you were wrong.

    But I still sent you that dollar
    Which, in good faith, reflects on me.
    I again stepped on the farthest step
    And made it.

    Welcome to the world of the
    5 O'clock Fatality.
    The kind where Subzero comes along
    And freezes you, hitting you once

    Snowflakes on a sheet of red.

    Where dreams aren't available
    and only Anxiety lures into your mind.
    It encases the body and surely,
    Makes you want to groan.

    Tossing and turning in the bed you've made
    Only to realize that's not where you want to be.
    But sleep is what you need, especially for work.
    And with that glorious work shift ahead
    All you can think is

    "Oh shit."

    Where's the goddamn weekend?

    5 O'clock Fatality

    P.S. This is shit and I am proud to say it is.




    Submitted on 2009-09-04 06:09:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      A dollar here, a dollar there
    Is not the same just anywhere!

    I will give a dollar to
    The person who can say
    There's something very wrong with this,
    And then go save the day!

    I'll open my computer,
    Send a foreign cent amount,
    But you won't know which one it is,
    'Til you open your account.

    If you can guess it, then you're psychic.
    If you can't, you've just been ripped off.
    | Posted on 2009-09-04 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]
      hey.
    stop saying its complete [censored], you know what kinda comments you'll get.
    i don't even get why. I've written and read worse. most of the time.
    would be nice to hear why.
    could you do me the favor?

    sincerely translated,
    allan
    | Posted on 2009-09-04 00:00:00 | by Jimi James | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    178133

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Hollow Points written by RequiemOfDreams
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Linger written by saartha
    Can't let my demons go written by faideddarkness
    Munyonyo written by expiring_touch
    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    On Loop written by Daniel Barlow
    Wavelength written by saartha
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    When Crows Tick on Windows written by metallichick786
    This written by Chelebel
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    ME written by jjd
    A Sonnet for Nina written by SavedDragon
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    In My Head written by faideddarkness
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Treasure Chest written by PieceOfCake
    Commencement written by Ramneet
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    The Promise written by annie0888

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry