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    dots Submission Name: 5 O'clock Fatalitydots

    Author: SanctityExposed
    ASL Info:    25
    Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 48/66/40
    Words: 229
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 528
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1538

       Complete shit and an utter disaster at an attempt of poetry.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dots5 O'clock Fatalitydots

    I will give one dollar
    To the person who can say
    "There's something wrong with this"
    And actually be accurate.

    I'll get on my paypal account
    Make you get on yours
    And send you exactly
    One dollar of your choice.

    After that dollar is sent
    I will message you on
    A MSN account
    Which I will also make you get.

    Once that message is sent
    You will read it and smile
    Because only then will you know
    That all along you were wrong.

    But I still sent you that dollar
    Which, in good faith, reflects on me.
    I again stepped on the farthest step
    And made it.

    Welcome to the world of the
    5 O'clock Fatality.
    The kind where Subzero comes along
    And freezes you, hitting you once

    Snowflakes on a sheet of red.

    Where dreams aren't available
    and only Anxiety lures into your mind.
    It encases the body and surely,
    Makes you want to groan.

    Tossing and turning in the bed you've made
    Only to realize that's not where you want to be.
    But sleep is what you need, especially for work.
    And with that glorious work shift ahead
    All you can think is

    "Oh shit."

    Where's the goddamn weekend?

    5 O'clock Fatality

    P.S. This is shit and I am proud to say it is.

    Submitted on 2009-09-04 06:09:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
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    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      A dollar here, a dollar there
    Is not the same just anywhere!

    I will give a dollar to
    The person who can say
    There's something very wrong with this,
    And then go save the day!

    I'll open my computer,
    Send a foreign cent amount,
    But you won't know which one it is,
    'Til you open your account.

    If you can guess it, then you're psychic.
    If you can't, you've just been ripped off.
    | Posted on 2009-09-04 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]
    stop saying its complete [censored], you know what kinda comments you'll get.
    i don't even get why. I've written and read worse. most of the time.
    would be nice to hear why.
    could you do me the favor?

    sincerely translated,
    | Posted on 2009-09-04 00:00:00 | by Jimi James | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

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