[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Elevendots

    Author: Childe-Wrote
    Elite Ratio:    1.78 - 17/53/44
    Words: 212
    Class/Type: Poetry/Sorry
    Total Views: 747
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1422


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    That crimson truck
    Stands in the drive way
    It's the same one she sees
    Every now and than, but today

    She comes in the door
    Pretty red hair in pigtails
    And blue eyes staring up at him
    Anger and confusion of a eleven yr old

    Words that she regretts
    Wish you would just go away
    And now, she doesn't see that truck
    In this lonely driveway, she waits patiently

    She grows wiser and colder
    That blame just getting stronger
    When she stands in that driveway
    And looks to the sky, asking God why

    But she doesn't get an answer
    Knowing Lucifer laughs in her face
    And these scars reminds her of her mistakes

    Nineteen years old
    And she stands by a grave
    Anger rising up, she kicks at the name
    She throws down the flowers and asks why

    She stares up at the sky
    When she drops to her knees
    In a once-in-a-lifetime prayer

    I'm just a eleven year old
    Who said what she shouldn't have
    Who paid with her love and her tears

    She's eleven again
    And she wonders why

    How could they say
    To that one broken little girl
    That Daddy just isn't coming home

    And she's still waiting

    Submitted on 2009-09-04 19:07:12     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]