Description: The second piece i ever wrote, lame but i have to acknowelege the start if i want to fully experience the end...
"The Death Watch" -------------------------------------------
Each day slowly
The Death Watch ticks..
Silently through the night
After us it creeps..
The Reaper..
A Pawn..
Moves without fear..
When he greets you..
Know the end is near..
Death comes..
A new dawn is finally here.
Only the unfaithful
Will have renewed fear..
A new day..
New life..
A baby is born..
It knows not the world
It is into born..
It knows not the pain & suffering
It wears a grin..
This new life
Is clean from filth & sin..
Unknown to him..
The Death Watch gets wound again..
Each day slowly
The Death Watch ticks..
Silently through the night
After us it creeps..
Does the death watch not also tick during the day? Is death not always lurking by, awaiting the arrival of new souls?
Side note: ".." It's either 3 dots for a long time passing or one dot. Two dots is a nono.
A new day..
New life..
A baby is born..
It knows not the world
It is into born..
It knows not the pain & suffering
It wears a grin..
This new life
Is clean from filth & sin..
Born and born as a rhyme? No. Like, "A baby is born/It knows not the world/into which it will mourn? Something like that to suffice.
I grin reminds me of something more menacing, not something a baby would wear. A smile or something.
Unknown to him..
The Death Watch gets wound again..
Who is "him" exactly? The baby or death?
I love how you start with the death watch ticking and then it ends when death arrives. Then you rewind it again. I love that!
I like the concept of this, that at birth there is some clock that is reset just for us... oh that we were so special. It presents a lot to visualize, though, and I like things that make me think. Kudos on this one!
Submission Name: "The Death Watch"
