Suicide of a Rocket Scientist by Runes

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Submission Name: Suicide of a Rocket Scientist dots

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Author:	Runes
Elite Ratio:	5.82 - 265/223/100
Words:	179

Class/Type:	Poetry/Misc
Total Views:	83
Average Vote:	No vote yet.
Bytes:	1366

Description:

Suicide of a Rocket Scientist dots

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Houston, I think we have a problem --
these formulas do not compute.
Present orbit parabolic,
stability now in dispute.
While Ground Control argues status
compiling data to report,
Shut Down sequence has enacted:
Failure -- Mission Abort.

Houston, receiving interference --
System reboot in Safe Mode.
DOA delays, DOS rewrites,
adjustments to binary codes.
Ground Control states its investment
exceeds all speculative repair costs.
Shut Down, therefore, was redacted,
and Restart, instead, officially logged.

Houston, I think you see the problem --
Ground Control is in denial.
Trajectory has grown erratic,
projection off by miles.
The satellite I chose for North Star
burned out, leaving me off-course
flaming through the sky, half-ashen
from centrifugal force.

Houston, we should have no problems...
Tin-word contact breaking soon.
I'm still caught up in these wires,
approaching dark side of the moon.
Ground Control is optimistic,
just another spin or two
but you and I both know at this point
what two more spins will do...

so Houston, for what it's worth,
I'm glad I talked to you.

Submitted on 2009-09-07 21:55:37 Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!

||| Comments |||
  i love how well this is written.

i've read it like 5 times, and am impressed each time with the skill shown. the metaphors and the language give it such an original and complicated feel. some of them are just so on target.

i keep getting half ideas here and there about how to format to the thoughts expressed a little better without disrupting the flow it has. if you don't mind, and if i manage to form a complete idea on it, i'll come back to it. the last two lines i didn't like as much the first couple of times but have grown on me rereading.

kudos.
(now i'm hungry for a kudos.)

this is why i don't use concistant lingo.
| Posted on 2009-09-20 00:00:00 | by cornonthekob | [ Reply to This ]
  Hey this was indeed different from the mainstream ideas. I liked the title alot, when i started reading irt i got the idea of an Apollo mission goingwrong bit by bit, was waiting for the part where all disaster strikes and a big explosion commences but was pleasantly surprised to see it all turn into a less dramatic outcome so unexpected!

Third stanza was my favourite and has a brilliant choice of words i might add. I can't see anything wrong with this, it all seems quite well laid out so thumbs up from me!

Final lines just added that needed impact and rounded the piece off quite well. Liked the overall balance in the piece and the images presented was well percieved when i read this. I like your style and flow, nothing causing a stumble here. Favourite line : "The sattelite i chose for North star burnt out, leaving me off course" this was well said.

Thanks for sharing this.
| Posted on 2009-09-08 00:00:00 | by Clayman | [ Reply to This ]
  you crazy girl!
this is awesome!

i love the houston changling lines and the way the drama unfolds through though you know... ive never had much luck in houston... every flight in or out of that place was delayed/cancelled/missed... ghastly!

and of course the suicide of a rocket scientist would have to be just as complex as the life cycle of a rocket scientist... maybe you should address life cycles next

complicated and crazy!
i adore this piece

| Posted on 2009-09-08 00:00:00 | by Someones Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
  Complicated rhythm. Excellent use of vocabulary. Unusual subject matter and method of delivery. Challenge to intellect. It all adds up to one magnificent piece of work.

I really enjoyed reading this. I will be adding it to my favourites so I can read it again.

soul-hugger
| Posted on 2009-09-08 00:00:00 | by Soul-Hugger | [ Reply to This ]

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