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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lost Paradisedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Soulraven
    ASL Info:    31/Male/Illinois
    Elite Ratio:    4.05 - 510/481/142
    Words: 201
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1183
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1416



    Description:
       I re-wrote as a poem


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLost Paradisedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Today,
    It just started to rain,
    And in the flood
    I began to drowned.
    Distilled carcass,
    I remain,
    Water muting all sound.
    Dispersing soggy tissue,
    Pale and floating
    Like my soul.
    Everyone denies
    All the issues,
    Leaving you flammable
    Like hardened coal.
    Mundane body arise,
    But I can't see
    With scarred eyes.
    I'm searching the heavens
    For my lost paradise.
    Material wonders,
    I cherished.
    I bet on prophecies,
    Uncontrollable odds.
    Watched as everything I loved,
    Perished.
    Now I know there's no such thing
    As God.
    I'm trapped
    In Life's unholiness.
    It's my time to pay.
    The water rushes to my lungs,
    What a painful bliss.
    To the one that doesn't exist,
    I begin to pray.
    I only wish to find
    Eden's garden.
    To set my eyes upon
    Earth's gem.

    To The One that doesnt exist,
    Ask for pardon.
    I want to caress the forbidden
    Apple's tree stem.
    Ashen soul arise.
    The One forgave me
    For my nasty vices.
    I can see everything
    With weeping eyes.
    Now, I'm welcomed
    In Earth's only paradise.





    Submitted on 2004-02-11 17:30:01     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      beautiful isnít the word i want to use at all. so let me try to think of a better way to describe it. it reminded me of a time when i was in the coffee house watching the rays of sun dance with the rippling tides of smoke endlessly. thatís how this poem made me feel. its a great sense of distress and longing yet for some reason there is a very light but very bright hope. one of my favs. :-)
    | Posted on 2007-02-27 00:00:00 | by lark | [ Reply to This ]
      Beautiful! The wording is so visionary. It sounds like a prayer. I wonder what the music would sound like though.
    | Posted on 2004-02-11 00:00:00 | by Voodoo_Lounge | [ Reply to This ]


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