Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Cleaning my room


Author: wolfgurl830
ASL Info:    18/F/OH
Elite Ratio:    0.96 - 42 /38 /34
Words: 67
Class/Type: Poetry /Comedy
Total Views: 867
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 370



Description:




Cleaning my room



Cleaning my room is oh so tough
I hate to pick up all this stuff
Old fruit and bagels I sometimes find
I look under my bed
And hold my nose and pray that this undefined is not mine
Stinky socks and dirty pants
I found a nest of carpenter ants
Now that I’ve cleaned my room
It will be dirty all too soon




Submitted on 2009-09-09 07:57:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  The most ominous underbed object is the "undefined" ... I feel a creeping sense of mysterious horror. What would it turn out to be???? Are you better or worse than my own daughters were? How old is the banana in the backpack?

In 1984, I tried to get bananas in backpacks registered by the Guinness Book Of Records, but they reckoned they could not encourage such a practice.
| Posted on 2009-09-13 00:00:00 | by Glen Bowman | [ Reply to This ]
  this poem is neat. it was fun reading. i have to clean my room its a mess.
| Posted on 2009-09-10 00:00:00 | by DaGrimReaperess | [ Reply to This ]
  Very funny. Reminds me of not so long ago when my son was at home.
| Posted on 2009-09-10 00:00:00 | by ModestyB | [ Reply to This ]
  Haha nice. You made it ryhme. And its disgusting. I'm curious though. What is undefined.
| Posted on 2009-09-10 00:00:00 | by extrEMO | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



178313