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    dots Submission Name: Satandots

    Author: Clayman
    ASL Info:    28 - getting late
    Elite Ratio:    6.34 - 609/327/167
    Words: 141
    Class/Type: Poetry/Religious
    Total Views: 426
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 875


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    With every careful crossing in our path
    satan secretly tries to inflict his wrath.
    With all his evil callous cunning ways
    He tries to taint and destroy all our days..

    His blaspheming being will make you run.
    he is created to hurl hate just for fun.
    He follows one gleaning instruction:
    to make of your life great destruction..

    Sometimes he will make you a sure winner
    to cleverly create from you a sly sinner..
    For when you are the vile vessel of sins
    he will cunningly be the one that wins..

    In the end he will lovingly lead you astray
    to a place that burns all your flesh away..
    So do not ever dare to stray his way.
    Try your best to avoid him every day..

    May his presence never visit you.
    This i pray.


    Submitted on 2009-09-09 16:36:55     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Satan finally written as a metaphorical figure, rather than some jerk with a pitchfork. Kudos to you. Even with a rhyme scheme, this was a very readable and enjoyable write. Your creativity is rapidly improving from submission to submission, but your vision has been very clear from the start.

    | Posted on 2009-12-01 00:00:00 | by MyX | [ Reply to This ]
      this is gorgeous. how did i miss this? ive read just about every one of your poems and this one just slipped right by. but it really struck me. evil comes disguised as an angel of light. that is so very true. he whispers lies to us and , well i at least, am a little kid that look up with big round eyes, so trusting. such a fool.

    "to cleverly create from you a sly sinner.."

    that line was my favorite. as always, beautifully written friend.
    | Posted on 2009-11-28 00:00:00 | by Theophilus | [ Reply to This ]
      I saw this slightly differently. What I saw was the desire for personification, not social commentary.

    You took Satan and made him a character. That's great. I tried the same thing, with a slight twist a while ago. It is a concept he represents, not a being.

    Your work is...surgical. I've no better way to explain it. You take a concept, then mold it into poetry. It's brilliant, absolutely brilliant.

    | Posted on 2009-09-13 00:00:00 | by Orin | [ Reply to This ]
      We so quickly blame satan for all things that go badly.
    Despite my personal beliefs, I enjoyed this. The wording is intelligent, and shows that you have a lot of talent. It flows nicely, though some lines are longer than others.
    Some of the words you rhymed were somewhat expected since they're used frequently in poems, but it didn't really take anything away from the piece.

    Good stuff.

    | Posted on 2009-09-11 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]

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