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    dots Submission Name: Dearest friend (redone)dots

    Author: LiChan
    ASL Info:    18/f/in my reality
    Elite Ratio:    3.26 - 9/6/12
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Poetry/Friendship
    Total Views: 766
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 590

       The original (named something different) was a poorly ended peice of work, so I fixxed it up a little bit.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDearest friend (redone)dots

    Driving in the car, its that time of year
    I'm thinking of you, and when you were near
    I'm hoping to see the face of my best friend.
    Coming from the terminal, smiling again
    I know the times are hard on him, he is going through a lot
    I know he isn't awfully far, but he isn't near enough.
    I want to see him this fourth of July, And give him the hug he needs.
    Laugh at the look him in the eye, and explain my mischevious deeds.
    And tell him that I have missed him dearly.
    And I"m glad to have him near me.

    Submitted on 2009-09-11 17:58:17     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

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    ||| Comments |||
      Good picture within your poetry. I liked that you used a few slant rhymes.

    The poem itself has a good level of warmth without feeling sticky sweat. That's the key. Convey your emotions without bogging down your readers.

    I can't help but wonder if the 'box' messed with your intended layout for this piece. As much as I'm enjoying ES, the 'display box' makes it difficult to write poetry lines that have a good deal of length to them.
    | Posted on 2009-09-27 00:00:00 | by Egan | [ Reply to This ]

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    January 10 07
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