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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Disgusting Comfortdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: JenFlynn
    Elite Ratio:    8 - 302/128/55
    Words: 149
    Class/Type: Prose/Sorry
    Total Views: 72
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 921



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDisgusting Comfortdots
    -------------------------------------------


    Life should be canceled when your brain's been through a sleep-deprived meat grinder. Just like this disgusting comfort; half asleep like your gushing heart pulsates awful scents of danse macabre. The way you pluck your veins from branch arms, off the thick tree can rip fingers from knuckles, skin the cherries of your cartilage from the muscle, weak from hemophilia. Cicada shells floating like corn flakes on grime. Milk is a shiny, dangerous, viscous mixture of bacteria and granulated cow udder.
    Dirty compassion erodes like a vomit of oil rainbows. I kill a duckling and its feathers bathe in a psychedelic turnstile.
    Both bothered and horribly unbearably suffocated by soft caterpillar loins and tendons freeloading throbs from my lips, the whole body of filthy love is destructive.
    A brain stutters drip drip from a white, swarovski wall of teeth- beat right out of the fairy herself.




    Submitted on 2009-09-12 10:00:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      i feel funny now.
    car-crash is right...
    i couldn't look away...
    it was awful and wonderful
    & now i don't know how to feel.
    except for the duckling part.
    i just can't condone that.
    don't know... WHERE... you
    got some o' those comparisons...
    this poem... hurts me a little.
    owwwwwww, poem!!!
    you stop that right now, mister!
    what did i tell you about biting?
    hey, rockin' piece.
    i'm thoroughly disturbed.
    ~Syn
    | Posted on 2009-11-23 00:00:00 | by Syn | [ Reply to This ]
      REPOST:

    you word vomited all your pent-up, impotent, sleep-deprived emotions, Jennykins. it's visceral and real and pretty ugly. and yet it is ultimately mesmerising in a car crash witness kind of way; you don't really like what you're reading but you have no choice but to keep looking so you can catalogue the full damage inflicted.

    some of the images made my stomach twist, too, but maybe that's due to it being empty of food still. who knows.



    p.s. i'm not sure it is Bryan any more...
    | Posted on 2009-09-12 00:00:00 | by Jacoby | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



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