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    dots Submission Name: holy ghostdots

    Author: caster
    ASL Info:    31.M.MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 136/280/161
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 869
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 636

       about: whatever you want it to be.

    feedback: all feedback welcome.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsholy ghostdots

    i wish i was a designer pill/
    a knife you could never quite get sharp enough/
    the fever that breaks just before you go insane/
    oh, the things i would become to get into your veins

    i wish i was a scandalous whisper/
    a well-placed kiss on your hangman's neck/
    the shot of alcohol well behind your lips/
    oh, the things i would become to get between your hips

    i wish i was the holy ghost/
    a missed beat to prove you differ from the dead/
    the person you become when everything goes dark/
    oh, the things i would become to get inside your heart

    Submitted on 2009-09-12 15:43:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Every metaphor, every line is perfect.
    I love the /

    I love the whole concept of it, the layout and the words you chose.

    oh the things I would do to write like this.
    | Posted on 2009-09-15 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      I am in love with this. You always find the best ways to say things. That's why you're my hero.
    | Posted on 2009-09-14 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this piece is great. for many reasons.

    the main reason being the fact that it shows pure passion. maybe it's me.. but, that's the great thing about poetry, right?? people can read into a piece however they wish, right??

    i think it is human nature to want to be someones "something"... someone's everything, if you will.

    i once wrote something that had a line that said,

    "I would do anything to be the cocaine surging through your veins, the adrenaline pumping throughout your body. I would do anything to be the one thing you were addicted to"

    it seems to be along the same lines as what you were saying. I hope that I am not way off on this.

    I think that this is a great read. It really shows your desire to be that "something" to that someone.
    | Posted on 2009-09-14 00:00:00 | by longwinterdays | [ Reply to This ]
      i love this.

    very much.

    ha. thats all i can think of to say.

    even my commenting inspiration is zero right now.

    but its just a great idea, cool metaphors.
    | Posted on 2009-09-12 00:00:00 | by Theophilus | [ Reply to This ]

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