Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: holy ghostdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: caster
    ASL Info:    31.M.MO
    Elite Ratio:    3.34 - 136/280/161
    Words: 108
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 957
    Average Vote:    4.0000
    Bytes: 636



    Description:
       about: whatever you want it to be.

    feedback: all feedback welcome.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsholy ghostdots
    -------------------------------------------


    i wish i was a designer pill/
    a knife you could never quite get sharp enough/
    the fever that breaks just before you go insane/
    oh, the things i would become to get into your veins

    i wish i was a scandalous whisper/
    a well-placed kiss on your hangman's neck/
    the shot of alcohol well behind your lips/
    oh, the things i would become to get between your hips

    i wish i was the holy ghost/
    a missed beat to prove you differ from the dead/
    the person you become when everything goes dark/
    oh, the things i would become to get inside your heart




    Submitted on 2009-09-12 15:43:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Every metaphor, every line is perfect.
    I love the /

    I love the whole concept of it, the layout and the words you chose.




    oh the things I would do to write like this.
    | Posted on 2009-09-15 00:00:00 | by Runes | [ Reply to This ]
      I am in love with this. You always find the best ways to say things. That's why you're my hero.
    | Posted on 2009-09-14 00:00:00 | by Razor2TheRosary | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this piece is great. for many reasons.

    the main reason being the fact that it shows pure passion. maybe it's me.. but, that's the great thing about poetry, right?? people can read into a piece however they wish, right??

    i think it is human nature to want to be someones "something"... someone's everything, if you will.

    i once wrote something that had a line that said,

    "I would do anything to be the cocaine surging through your veins, the adrenaline pumping throughout your body. I would do anything to be the one thing you were addicted to"

    it seems to be along the same lines as what you were saying. I hope that I am not way off on this.

    I think that this is a great read. It really shows your desire to be that "something" to that someone.
    | Posted on 2009-09-14 00:00:00 | by longwinterdays | [ Reply to This ]
      i love this.

    very much.

    ha. thats all i can think of to say.

    even my commenting inspiration is zero right now.

    but its just a great idea, cool metaphors.
    | Posted on 2009-09-12 00:00:00 | by Theophilus | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    178420

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    To written by SavedDragon
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Once Again written by krs3332003
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    Bond written by saartha
    To the King written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Pressure written by hybridsongwrite
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    May 31 2018 written by Chelebel
    Summer Nights written by ollie_wicked
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    In the end written by Janesaddiction
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Cage written by distortedcloud
    Hopelessly Blind written by ForgottenGraves
    It's Night Now written by RisingSon
    Song written by Daniel Barlow
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    This written by Chelebel
    Trails written by Daniel Barlow
    You Make Me speechless written by elephantasia
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry