[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Unveiled Maskdots

    Author: SavedDragon
    Elite Ratio:    3.62 - 302/257/81
    Words: 268
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 824
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1685

       This poem I wrote for my African- American Literature course. It was an assignment based on the book we read for class "The Devil and Dave Chappelle" by William Jelani Cobb. It's a collection of his essays that covers many of the issues of racism. In this poem, I include the titles of most of the chapters with a brief description of what i thought it meant to me. It;s best to read the book before reading my poem so i highly recommend it.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Unveiled Maskdots

    An African- American experience of a decade past
    This book is what lies behind the unveiled mask
    Cobb spits truths about the issues at hand
    A globe filled with problems, racism facing man
    The road ahead of Barack Obama is a rocky path
    Expectations by the white man, can’t be calculated with math
    There is no equality, one nation plus one black man
    Equals racial realities, equals a two faced stand
    Cobb also talks about seeing in double
    In this chapter he predicts a black man’s troubles
    Fear factors terrors in black and white
    Martin Luther had a dream, what a king
    Battles of what’s wrong and what’s right
    The hood- rat theory concerns a debate
    Women in hip- hop womanized everyday
    Stereotypes and clichés won’t leave the white man’s mind
    Violence, slavery, slandered terms unkind
    It’s a man to man war, color being the topic
    Can’t get passed the surface, can’t get through to logic
    In six in one hand, Cobb addresses biblical term
    And the storm that washed a nation, filled with culture
    A hip- hop story told through hustle and flow
    Depicts a pimp who couldn’t pimp
    But hip- hop is no last resort for the dead broke
    Chapter 12 say’s that we’re out of time
    But how late is too late to get back in line
    Changes can be made, ignorance isn’t bliss
    Well…………… at least not like this
    This is America of open doors
    This world is mine, this world is yours
    Only this book has real stories to tell
    This is Cobb’s creation, this is The Devil
    And Dave Chappelle.

    Submitted on 2009-09-13 17:05:38     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I will start out with the positive:
    The overall impression is very good. I read "The Devil and Dave Chappelle" a long time ago, so I don't remember it as well as I should. The rhyme scheme words very well. I like that you used quite a few slant rhymes, it makes the whole poem seem less forced.

    To be quite honest, the only thing I noticed that really needs work is the rhythm of the poem. The lines are very long, which can be distracting while reading it. Maybe think about structure, or breaking the longer couplets into quatrains? Just a thought.

    Overall this is an enjoyable poem with a message.

    Keep writing!
    | Posted on 2009-09-28 00:00:00 | by Snarkypoet | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    cleverly shunned written by CrypticBard
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Whiteout written by layDsayD
    written by Daniel Barlow
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    AI written by poetotoe
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    Bond written by saartha
    True Death written by layDsayD
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Brigit written by endlessgame23
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    written by Daniel Barlow




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]