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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: When You're Alonedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Eyamma
    ASL Info:    16/Sry, I'm taken/Alabama
    Elite Ratio:    4.71 - 22/21/77
    Words: 147
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 768
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 883



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhen You're Alonedots
    -------------------------------------------


    It’s amazing the mysteries hidden beneath your skin
    It’s amazing the things you realize alone
    Reflecting back on your past a numbness wraps around you
    Then you see so many things you never would accept
    You let go of your pain; of all of your downfalls
    You let the darkness surrounding you embrace your sins
    You do not cry for the ones you have lost
    You do not cry for the things you just couldn’t do
    You do not cry from the pain this causes
    A small smile tugs at the corner of your mouth
    Realizing that time is only an illusion
    You know the end of your fate before it comes
    Showing you the importance of finding that beauty
    You search for within
    When you’re alone inside there is an inner peace…
    Because you know the demons coming for you
    Are really freeing you.




    Submitted on 2009-09-14 13:43:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I think this would read better if L3 was:
    'Reflecting back on your past a numbness wraps around you'
    I think that's more powerful than 'a sort of numbness'.

    And I think a little grammar could go a long long way... maybe some full stops, get rid of those unneeded commas, it would help the overall appearance of this.

    It's a nice message. Very zen.

    Aly
    | Posted on 2009-10-10 00:00:00 | by AlyRose | [ Reply to This ]


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    January 10 07
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