I?m not going to say this isn't touching or anything like that, that would be false and unreasonable. what i will say though, is that no doubt this comes from your heart, all that while it doesnt feel all that original, you know? i mean these are those situations that would usually call for some sort of imagery, or metaphorical statement, none except this were in there
"That hope sometimes forgets me
amd my foundation loses strength."
just to let you know you have a typo there...
but seriously this was your best line here, i felt it showed us inside of you, i was looking for more lines like that,-- that sort of wording that cuts away part of the outer layer of skin so we can see who you are on the inside.... overall this is pretty good, its sincere... and i guess that s all it really needs to be....
Submission Name: The Little Things We Share
