This is pretty plain and straightforward in it's message and the way it is relayed to the reader. I get feelings of desperation and hopelessness, this is a dark piece but i feel it needs more impact and more descriptions, it is kind of trying to describe sorrow while looking happy. I think if you spice it up with a bit of extra emotions and color then this could be a much more powerful piece. At the moment it kind of just drags along. But a good concept no less. Thanks for sharing.